Over-Connection and Self-Reflection

Have our phones made us lose track of who we are?

One of my favorite people to watch on the internet is Brittany Broski. She perfectly balances being outrageous and silly with being incredibly insightful. She finds a way to articulate things that are universally felt, but are sometimes hard to express. She is real and raw and so wonderfully herself. Although it is a bit parasocial, and I do not actually know her, I look up to and respect her. I was recently listening to her newest podcast episode titled “Love Island and Michelangelo”. While that title may not make it seem like it would allow for introspection, the part called “Over-Connection & Self-Reflection” made me do just that. I would really recommend this part of the podcast to anyone around my age. I feel like there were parts of it that a lot of people could relate to in one way or another.

While a lot of it consisted of things I already knew to be true, having her so passionately articulate made me really think. She made a lot of points in a short amount of time so I can’t list everything, but I want to list off some of the things that I connected to or made me question in some way. 

1. We are overconnected

The first point that Brittany touches on is that we are way too invested in how we appear online. We are posting like we are being watched. But in the same vein, we don’t even care about each other’s lives, we just consume them. Social media has the tendency to let you lose sight of what matters to YOU as a person. It can so easily sway us.

2. Loss of identity

This leads into her next point, where she talks about a loss of identity. This often happens in favor of trends. People only do, say, and buy things to appeal to what is popular. If you are a regular consumer of media, it can become hard to sit back and truly know what YOU like, without any outside influences. Brittany says she wants people to sit with themselves and really think about that. A way she has practiced this is by paying attention to things she gravitated toward when she was young, and seeing how those things have manifested in who she is as an adult. 

3. We don’t make time to think/do things for ourselves

In her podcast, Brittany explains how she knows it can be hard to pay attention to these things at all because of how much time we spend on our phones. Outside of our physical devices, the things you experience on your phone continue to infiltrate your brain past just the usage. So much of our days are gone because of our phones, and because of the way our phones make us think. And at the end of the day, that does not feel good. It does not feel good to know that you do not fully know who you are without a phone because it has become a necessary part of who we are. 

4. Extreme socialization

What she means by “the way our phones make us think”, is that we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. We have been conditioned to not like ourselves, and to want to change. Whether it is your body, aesthetic, personality, lifestyle or any other way. Without phones, humans naturally have these thoughts, but the unnatural experience of having access to far too many people’s lives makes this even harder. It is an extreme form of socialization that makes you lose yourself. To quote her exactly “If being the cool girl means having to lose yourself, f being cool.”

5. We are acting

As Brittany said, you lose yourself through this process. At the end of the day, we are acting out of the versions of ourselves in our head. I obviously knew this, but hearing it out loud was a sort of an ah-ha moment. She goes on to say that if you don’t like the version of yourself in your head and you are constantly looking to change it, then you are acting in a way that does not reflect who you are deep down. And like she said, this just means you lose track of who that person is. 

6. Who are you?

Life is too short to dilute yourself to appease people. You should like what you like without wondering if it is popular, or fear of judgment from others. And if you don’t know what you like, then you need to take the time to figure that out. You can find time to discover yourself and figure out what you like to do. Decrease screen time and give that time to yourself. Brittany ends by saying, “we have so much potential, but if you don’t act on it or fully realize who you are by the end of your life, that’s all it is, just potential, and wasted potential.” To really be who you are, you need to put down your phone, think of what YOU really like, and stop wanting to change who you are.

The points Brittany makes aren’t true for every person. Everyone is at a different stage of “finding themselves,” especially at my age. But I do think that considering the times we live in, there is something relevant in her advice for everyone. If anything, they are things to consider.