Reckoning with Rejection
Iāve been described as āover sensitiveā since I was a child. My feelings are as bruisable as a peach. My head is in a never-ending loop of āAre they upset with meā and āIs everyone okay?ā Starting college was the perfect soil for my overthinking brain.Ā
I recently went to a sorority recruitment event for the first time. I previously had little interest in being in a sorority, but I was invited to the event by some nice girls and felt excited by the idea of making new friends. While I can understand some of the appeals and benefits of joining a sorority, I am now convinced rush is not one of them. I admit that I was poorly prepared for what this process would look like, but I found it to be massively overwhelming and entirely too scripted. I felt on the fence about joining and was doubting if I even wanted to do it. Fortunately for me, I didnāt have to make the decision. This group didnāt want me to do it either.Ā
I didnāt expect to feel so crushed by that rejection email. I had not become too attached or invested in this sorority but regardless of that logic, I still cried my eyes out on my bedroom floor. I kept asking myself, why donāt they like me? Whatās wrong with me? What did I do? Even though this rejection was for the best, it still really hurt my feelings.Ā
It sucks to feel like youāre being overly sensitive over something. It becomes isolating to think that every feeling is felt so intensely in a way others might not understand. I often question if Iām capable of processing my emotions normally, or if it feels this overwhelming for everyone else.Ā
I am here to assure every like-hearted girl that your sensitivity is a gift, not a burden. Allowing myself to feel hurt helps me understand myself better. I donāt push any feelings away, I lay it all on the table. Practicing this type of self-awareness makes me a better friend, too. Being sensitive allows me to approach my friendsā troubles with a more intimate humility and understanding. Because I let myself get so worked up over the recruitment event, I feel a greater ache when I notice exclusivity towards others. Sensitivity opens the door for radical honesty and empathy for ourselves and others. Being emotional is how we all connect.
Itās women in particular who will be criticized for being overly sensitive. One should never be criticized for simply feeling too much. But itās true that the most sensitive people are often the ones most taken advantage of or even ignored. I know how hurtful it can be to feel like all you do is think about other peopleās feelings only for them to not consider yours at all. Thatās why we must protect our hearts in this process. After my sudden rejection, I spent the whole day teary-eyed and listening to Mitski. But after, I focused on spending time with people who fulfill me and activities that sustain me. Itās important to recognize and honor the vulnerability it takes for someone to be openly sensitive. Itās reasonable to expect a similar standard of respect in return. Itās not worth having your feelings hurt over someone who never considered them in the first place.
While this level of reflection over a rejection from a sorority may seem a little silly, Iām glad I didnāt sacrifice my ability to be truthful about how much it hurt. While my tendency to overthink can be more harmful than helpful, I do believe that embracing the ābigā feelings in life is how one best gets in touch with their personal values and principles. Being overly sensitive is how I see the world and I think Iām all the better for it.