In 2022, almost all singles are using dating apps. But are we in it for love or for a night?
In a new age of dating full of dating apps and casual hookups, can a girl who dreams of her Prince Charming fairytale survive? Honestly, I don’t know. I’m in the midst of it myself. I’ve been doing some thinking, a lot of the people I know that are in deep, mature and committed relationships met their partner in high school, i.e. before we could legally be on dating apps. Without the dating apps, we are able to fall for someone without having hundreds and hundreds of options. Our brain gets overwhelmed with options, so then we have a harder time choosing just one. When we have an absence of dating apps, we only know the people we are surrounded by, so it’s easier to build deeper emotional connections. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but no one would try and catch all of them, right?
I dream of being Cinderella, not Tinderella. But I know when Prince Charming comes, it’s all going to make sense. Truly, in my heart I feel that. I’ve tried to be “casual” but I’m undeniably a romantic who still adheres to tradition. I’m no prude but I don’t want to be seen as an object. But as I ponder on that thought, I realize that I’ve done the reverse. I have gone out with men for the purpose of sex, I didn’t think about it conciously but I definitely have been one to push the boundary having men respond “I don’t have sex on the first date” or “We don’t have to do anything.” And while I didn’t necessarily make anyone uncomfortable, maybe they felt objectified.
But I remember that it’s not my fault. Society has told women that men are crazy for sex…that it’s the main thing that they want. As straight women, if we hear things from men like “I’d rather wait,” we feel appalled. We get insecure, because thanks to a certain podcast “if he’s not f***ing you, he’s f***ing someone else.” We refuse to consider that maybe men want to be Prince Charming but they feel pressured to adhere to societal norms. Men want sex all the time, if a woman doesn’t want it they should push her until she gives in…and if she does? She’s easy.
I’m met with countless articles, books and videos of both men and women saying…this needs to change. But it continues. The dating app has become the main way to meet someone and people are convinced that they can’t meet anyone in person. But it’s not true, we don’t need the apps. We need to learn how to talk to each other, because I personally don’t believe my generation ever learned.
In the end, what we all want is love. We want to have the things we see in fairytales, but no one wants to admit it. We are trapped in a cycle of casual relationships until what? 25? When our brain is matured. We don’t have to be, we need to think of ourselves as Cinderellas, not Tinderellas.