Urban Dictionary defines sexile as “the person who gets kicked out of their dorm for several hours on end so that their roommate can get some ass,” and from this definition we can all basically say…been there, done that. College living is defined by the idea of roommates because living with someone can be hard, especially when they’re getting some. So for those of you who haven’t been sexiled yet, or those who are sexiled too often, here are some things to keep yourself busy while you’re roomies gettin’ busy.
1. Read a book; because nothing says Fifty Shades of Grey quite like knowing that your roommates’ getting ass while you’re feeling forever alone.
2. Watch a movie; preferably something non-Rom Com or love story, because unlike those that have the urge to falsely experience what they’re missing out on, most of us find that depressing.
3. Do some homework; this is the shit that you won’t get done otherwise, so when you’re feeling pretty bad about yourself for not being in your roomie’s situation, focus on your work and your potential for success because at this point, you need reassurance that you will be okay.
4. Go on Petfinder; because honestly, you’re already feeling the part of the lonely old cat lady.
5. Late night eat; because two basic needs of human beings are sex and food, and we know you’re not getting one of those.
6. Or…work out; just because that seems like a logical self-esteem booster and may end up more in your benefit than the food.
7. Go on Tinder; to find the hottie that you apparently missed at the frat party.
8. Explore; the apartment building or dorm that you’re in might have more potential than you think. Knock on the neighbor’s door and make new friends (or friends with benefits)…just don’t go looking if you live in a sorority house.
9. Play a game; even if you’re by yourself this serves as a distraction from your sorrow.
10. Sleep; because realistically, all of these things will only help so much, so pass the fuck out and hope that tomorrow brings you more luck.