Continuity, where the hell have you been, loca??
Well, it’s that time of the year again, and no, I don’t mean hot apple cider, pumpkin spice, shackets, corn mazes and crunchy leaves. Of course I’m referencing the season where 2010s emo souls may thrive: blue filter, vampire fantasy, Twilight season! If you don’t have the entire Saga in your non-negotiable fall bucket list every year, then you must make a change immediately. I 12/10 recommend.
But of course, I could not, in good conscience, sing Twilight’s praises without acknowledging the elephant in the room: the franchise is undeniably bad. I’m sorry fellow Twihards, but you and I both know it’s true. Why is there so much heavy breathing? Why are all of these teens fighting blood wars in between homework and pre-prom planning anyways? And, seriously, what is with that damn heavy blue haze on each and every scene?! But probably the biggest issue I take with the Saga is the amount of major plot holes.
1. Why Forks, Washington?
It’s never really quite been addressed how or why vampires and werewolves have taken up residence in the PNW. Of course, there’s the scene at LaPush where Jacob recalls Native legends to Bella, and he explains the first confrontation between the famously feuding families that led his ancestors to turn to canines. But a very shallow dive into the history of werewolves and vampires will indicate that their origins are tied to Transylvania, a.k.a. Romania, a.k.a. Eastern Europe. So…the dinky little town of Forks? Ms. Meyers, you have some serious explaining to do.
2. How come only Jasper’s powers work on Bella?
As viewers find out in the last installment of the Saga, Breaking Dawn, Bella has had a secret superpower of her own this whole time: she’s a shield. We see her defend herself against the sinister pain Jane attempts to inflict, the mind-readers’ attempts to get into her thoughts and Zafrina’s efforts to disorient her in a lush jungle. Yet, somehow, Jasper is able to invoke mood control at the whims of Alice. Maybe the science of it all is just beyond me?
3. Why is human Bella immune to the effects of powers anyways?
We don’t see Bella be able to tap into her shield powers until after she’s turned into a vampire by Edward’s venom. It has been largely indicated that the rest of the gifted Cullen and Volturi members were not able to harness their abilities until after they crossed the threshold from living to undead. So how is it that Bella’s shield is in play since the very first installment? The math’s not math-ing?
4. How did newborn Bella have such an impressive grip on her blood-thirsty urges?
We would all like to think that Bella is just an impressively good person, or, not person. But newborn vampires are famously unable to get a grip on their blood-lust. I mean, sure, Bella went into vampire-hood knowing what to expect, but as even Edward points out, it takes even the most disciplined of newborns a few weeks to curb their thirst. Miraculously, though, Bella figures it out after only a few hours of being awake. I wish I had her type of self-control around sweet treats at the holidays.
5. Lastly, how on earth did Edward and Bella fall pregnant with a biological child?
By far the biggest point of controversy within the Saga comes as a result of the happenings in Breaking Dawn Part I, where newlyweds Bella and Edward conceive their first and presumably only child on their honeymoon. Now, it is established in the first film that Edward, seeing as he is not alive in the way humans are, does not perform any typical executive human functions. So Twihards have been begging the question for years: how is it that the Cullens’ honeymoon turned out to be so fruitful. Like, seriously, huh?
Evidently, Ms. Stephanie Meyers and fellow screenwriters simply did not take certain things into consideration when expanding the Forks Cinematic Universe. Either way, partaking in a screening in all five films is essential to having a bountiful fall season. If nothing else, you can’t even try and deny that the New Moon scene where depressed Bella sits in her bedroom chair isn’t a whole mood during this most tragic midterms season. And if that still doesn’t do it for you, the soundtrack is an absolute masterpiece. Happy blood-sucking!