On April 2, the world received very sad news: Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatum simultaneously announced on their Instagrams that they were separating. Brb — crying.
Once my initial shock wore off, I noticed there were a few things that were… odd about the announcement. The more I read into it, the more issues I had with the post. It got to the point where I started thinking “wtf is this.” This might get nit-picky, but I cannot go more than two lines in the post without stopping to shake my head.
Â
1. Why does the background look like an Easter church pamphlet?
Were they trying to make it look like Easter? Are their respective favorite colors purple and yellow? Are they Lakers fans? (I know in my heart Channing Tatum would not be a Vikings fan. Go Pack!) It could even pass for a baby announcement that has an odd intro, which leads me to my next point….
Â
2. That weird AF intro: “Hey World! So…….”
The exciting greeting is somewhat flirty and upbeat; it’s what you say when you meet up with your friends after spring break to spill some major gossip. Right away, we are misled into thinking something positive is coming — like another Tatum baby.
Â
3. There’s a winky face??
Some versions that are circulating online edited out the winky face — but I saw it! The original version on both of the (ex) couple’s Instagrams included the winky face. The semicolon and parentheses in question were placed after the quoted phrase “alternative facts,” which referenced the infamous phrase President Trump’s staff use. I’m not sure if your separation (*cough* divorce! *cough*) announcement is a good place to insert a jab at the presidency, but okay then. Again, the lighthearted vibe they are trying to pull off here is just very uncomfortable. Call me old-fashioned, but a winky face seems inappropriate in a separation announcement.  Â
Â
4. The weird spacing
Why does the message look like it’s copied and pasted together? As a self-proclaimed “English nerd,” I am irked by this formatting issue. The only thing that’s potentially more distracting would be their using of the wrong “their/they’re/there.”
Â
5. The cliche “absolutely nothing has changed”
Obviously, something has changed! Channing and Jenna, you wouldn’t be separating if you two really still loved each other the same way you did before. Nothing has changed? Everything has changed!
Â
6. Does separation mean divorce?
Are they going to divorce, or are they staying married? Are they just raising Everly from separate households? Are they going to try couples therapy? Is this just the first step before an inevitable divorce? I don’t know, and it looks like they might not know either. However, this is a fairly big announcement; I doubt they would make an announcement like this unless their marriage was truly irreconcilable. This can’t just be a trial separation for them to gain some space for a few weeks.
I appreciate the (former) Tatums trying to keep an upbeat attitude about their split-up, but it’s still a shocking and sad announcement. Neither coloring your announcement purple nor adding exclamation points (and a winky face?) is going to stop us from shedding major tears! However, we can do our best to respect their wishes and forever remember the beautiful power couple that brought us so many #goals moments like this: