Name: Will Conley
Year: Sophomore
Hometown: Milwaukee, WI
Major: Breadth Courses
Involvement on campus: I’m not allowed to answer that.
Glass half full or half empty? I didn’t order this.
If you were to be any character in a movie, who would it be and why? Johnny Danger in this movie I just thought up called Johnny Danger.
What would be your ideal spring break? I’m at a La Quinta—Young Jeezy walks in and says “you don’t really wanna be here.” He’s right. I get into his fresh new lambo and we drive to PCB and get there around 10:30. The weather is 82 degrees. Balmy. We head over to the beach—babes everywhere. “Look at all the babes” says Jeezy. We pull up to our destination: the library! We read a lot of books. Some of them are about dinosaurs. We get a lot of volunteering hours in from hanging out with the kids there. Jeezy says “keep the lambo” and I wave to the babes on my way home.
Actual spring break plans? I’m gonna join a band, go on tour, quit the band, have a brief solo career, struggle with the pain of being a misunderstood artist, call up the old band for a brief reunion tour; movies, book deals, the whole nine yards. It’ll be pretty fun.
How do you plan on celebrating the upcoming St. Patty’s Day? Probably protest, holidays are so Fascist.
What’s your guilty pleasure? This is a tough one, I really am against pleasure as a concept. Life is pain.
Hidden talent? Always looking on the bright side.
Where would you most likely be found on a Thursday night? Go ahead and ask for my social security number too, why don’t you.
Do you think you can meet your “next big thing” at a bar, or does it need to be a more sophisticated setting? I suppose it could be a little more sophisticated like Craigslist or a Perkins, but I’m no Casanova.
What impresses you most about a girl when you first meet her? Context: If I meet you at a book signing, and it’s your book, and you’re a world-renowned novelist and also you tell really great jokes, I’ll probably be impressed. If I meet you at a prison, and you’re an inmate, and you kind of spit when you talk and also you tell insensitive jokes, I can’t promise I will be very impressed.
Most memorable moment at Madison so far: I walked all the way to the top of Bascom once. Never made that mistake again.