Happy National Coffee Day! In honor of this wonderful, arbitrary national holiday, I’ve compiled a list of some of the weirdest coffee products the Internet has to offer. As the saying goes, there’s no wrong way to express your love of coffee. Except maybe some of these.
1. Coffee-infused socks
Infused with carbonized coffee reclaimed from coffee roasters and shops, these MIT-designed socks are made entirely from recycled polyester thread. By using a pharmaceutical process to eliminate oils, the coffee ground-integrated fiber is designed to filter out bad odors without actually making your feet smell like a morning roast. And because the design comes from some of the greatest minds in the country, the extensive thermal and pressure mapping means they fit like a second skin.
2. Caffeinated espresso ice cream
This isn’t so weird as it is utterly amazing. Meet the ultimate college student’s dream: a late-night snack with a caffeine buzz. The Wisconsin-made “Bang!! Caffeinated Ice Cream” comes in four flavors, each with 125 mg of caffeine per scoop—that’s the equivalent of almost two shots of espresso. Their Iced Latté-Da espresso-flavored ice cream (made with chocolate chunks and fudge swirl) is officially the superior cousin of Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz.
3. Elephant dung coffee
For all you adventurous eaters, don’t get out your wallets just yet: this Black Ivory brew from Thailand is currently the most expensive coffee in the world, going at a whopping $50 per serving. Though soon to be available at luxury hotels across Europe, for now this elite beverage is sold exclusively at high-end resorts in Asia, where customers have described it as “smooth and earthy.” Local villagers feed elephants in a northern Thai elephant sanctuary a mash of dried coffee beans, rice, water, and fruit, and collect the beans from the dung up to 70 hours later; the enzymes in the elephants’ stomachs work as a sort of “slow cooker,” breaking down the proteins in the bean and taking out some of the bitterness. If you’re picturing a herd of overly energetic elephants, don’t worry: the caffeine doesn’t come out of the beans until they’re boiled.
4. Bacon flavored syrup
Coffee and bacon lovers alike can rejoice in this weirdly wonderful multi-purpose product. Add it to your latte, blend it with your Frappuccino, or even pour it straight in your dark roast if you’re feeling adventurous. Two rights don’t necessarily make a bigger right, especially when it comes to food, but this might just be the most disgusting perfect union ever.
5. Toothy coffee mug
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We’ve all seen photos online of cool or creative coffee mugs: Marauder’s Map mugs, mugs that change color with heat, or have hidden, artsy ceramic sculptures at the bottom—but what if you just want to terrify your roommate or co-worker? These deeply unsettling mugs from the bowels of Pinterest might be up your alley. Fair warning though: anyone Google image-searching “creepy mugs”—enter at your own risk.
6. Coffee-flavored dental floss
Coffee-flavored dental floss might not even be the weirdest part of this Breakfast Floss package available all over the Internet—it also comes in waffles and bacon flavor. I’m guessing this would pair nicely with some scrambled eggs flavored toothpaste?
7. Coffee-flavored condoms
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Is this surprising? No. Is it still disgusting? Yes.
8. Grumpy coffee bean
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As far as weird plush items go, I’ve seen worse. (Anyone remember those stuffed viruses from elementary school?) Still, this seems like an odd addition to standard coffee lover fare. Where would you even put this adorably grumpy bean? Display it anywhere outside the kitchen, and I’m not sure it’s easily identifiable as the frowny, South American bean that it is. Still, ugly plush-dolls need love, too.
9. Fake spilled coffee prank
I think this speaks to most of our inner mischievous eight year-olds. Give it to your little cousin for Christmas, or if you’re feeling particularly cruel, casually leave it on top of your roommate’s laptop while they’re out of the room. We take no responsibility for any ensuing retaliation.
10. Bathe & Brew Coffee Maker + Soap Dispenser
Unfortunately for everyone, this isn’t actually real. Available at PrankPack.com, this “genuine fake gift box” comes with a detailed package design and “instructions” for brewing your morning cup of Joe while simultaneously enjoying the suds of a hot shower. Also available on their website: a human baby-sized hamster feeder, and a Snuggie for your face.
11. Edible coffee cups
Not since the invention of the waffle cone has such a delicious product come in such an equally delicious container. Thanks to KFC’s across the UK, British customers can now order their morning coffee in a wafer, sugar paper and white chocolate-based cup. As far as utility goes, it may not be as weird as it sounds: branding experts say it’s not only fun and promotional, but environmentally friendly as well.