Hi, ladies! Isn’t it super hilarious how I keep you guys hanging for weeks and weeks of no articles, only to come in the clutch with sassy things to say as soon as I have a test to study for and I want to procrastinate as much as I possibly can? Scratch that, I have THREE tests and a twelve pager. So away I go with the writing.
This week, what I’ve gotten pissed off about is when boys decide that certain social outlets or activities are strictly male and that we, as frilly females, cannot participate. And I’m not talking about the tried and true, boys only porn and sports combo here (though I could definitely go into how both of those things could appeal to women, but I won’t. Just look up the Wikipedia page for James Deen, which should suffice as evidence for how young women have become a fan base for the former). Rather, I’m talking about the littlest pleasures in life, like a game of beer pong, video gaming or the fact that we too can enjoy a steakhouse or sketchy burrito joint just as much as the next guy. These past couple of weeks, I’ve been bombarded by the sexism behind these strictly males only pastimes that I happen to enjoy as a girl, and let’s face it, I’m getting pretty tired of being left out of things I like just because some guy is terrified I might break down into tears over not making a single cup in pong or that I’d interrupt a video game to talk about my period or something. I just want to assure them that though both of those things might have happened ONCE for really awkward and specific circumstances, it’s not like we’re all wired to do that automatically.
Being a girl outside of the schema of a Kate Hudson movie doesn’t mean we’re only interested in eating rabbit food and drinking cosmos whilst being astoundingly bitchy (though there is certainly a time and place for both of those scenarios and I’m entitled to DO WHAT I WANT without being labeled as such a girl). While girls have been known to like fruity drinks and are generally well-versed in tabloid gossip, it doesn’t mean that our pastimes and interests are limited to some fluffy, pink, high-lighted, confined space. I can like a whole spectrum of things and I don’t need them to be defined as inherently male or female. Still, some boys refuse to let us in. It dumbfounds me too, because it’s not like girls aim to make boys uncomfortable, rather, we just want to coexist and be friendly (if not more than friendly) most of the time. If anyone is to blame for instituting discomfort in social situations, it’s boys who alienate girls from their activities.
Now some of you may be rolling your eyes and insisting that this complaint is painting things in a feministy (not a word but go with it) light just for the sake of b*tching about something, but I can assure you this kind of thing happens all the time. Why, just the other day, me and my girlfriends were pushed (not literally, y’all) right off the nicest beer pong table of all time (I have no picture evidence, but I assure you, this table was awesome and huge and pretty…I was also drunk). We were forced to play on a dinky, three-foot, fold out Costco table in a dark corner. While the boys cheered each other on, chest pumped, and butt-patted their way to victory, we tossed a pong ball into cups an arms length away. It was so boring! We want to play, be challenged, and drink JUST as much as the men in this piece! Needless to say, we all left. The boys didn’t seem to notice or care (that is, until a couple of them realized they were horny boys and jovial male-on-male spanking masked as camaraderie wasn’t going to do the trick). WOAH, RUDE—teehee.
As I mentioned earlier, this kind of thing goes as far as defining our diets for us. All around me are yummy, greasy steakhouses and burger joints with taglines and menu options that basically insinuate they’ll help you grow a bigger wiener. Well, I don’t have one and I still effing love to eat hardy meals and meat; sorry ‘bout it, Buffalo Wild Wings. I’m not asking for these places to change they’re style or the musky man allure they got going, I’m just saying they should be aware of how lame and hilarious it is. If you think about it, it’s just as bad and confining as the females drinking cosmos and wearing pink pumps at a lounge downtown scenario, only for some reason, people tend to be less annoyed by it because it’s just how boys are.
I guess what I’m saying is that how girls are shouldn’t be picked on because boys have created an exact parallel for themselves, which includes what to do, eat, or like. We should all just take those pastimes as stereotypes at this point and allow either sex to partake in whatever activity they want. Why tomorrow night, I’ll drink a beer, order a pizza, pop in a zombie flick, and rub my belly and my boyfriend can spruce up and get a few drinks with the boys.