In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be perfect and super wonderful to interview some of my William and Mary friends about their relationships. I asked each of the couples the questions separately so that they wouldn’t hear the answers that their spouses provided and hearing a lot of what they all had to say was inspiring. It gives us all hope that love is not lost, and that healthy college relationships do, in fact, exist. So bring out the tissues and chocolate because you’re in for a Valentine’s Day special treat!
Couple 1: Mariana Debbe and Jesse Barkin
AC: When and how did you guys meet?
Jesse: We met one of the first days of orientation. We were on the same hall, and I did my rounds introducing myself to all of the girls. When I met Mariana, she had a huge jar of Nutella. Naturally, I had to ask for some, and the rest is history! I think there is actually a photo on Facebook.
Mariana: The first time Jesse and I should have met was freshman year during orientation. We lived on the same hall in Jefferson and one day our orientation aides had planned a mixer for the guys and girls – a dinner date. Everyone got a card on it with a character name and we had to find a person from the opposite sex with the corresponding partner. I was Tweedle-dee and he was Tweedle-dum. Plot twist: his roommate, Edgar, was missing a card, so Jesse gave him his. We joke to this day of the irony that he gave his card away.
The real time we officially met, I was hanging out in my room with the door open when Jesse walked past with his friend Mike and instantly caught sight of the Nutella jar sitting on my mini-fridge. He immediately invited himself inside and asked to eat some of the Nutella. He ended up running to the kitchen to grab a spoon and even attempted spoon-feeding me some of it. A picture was taken by Mike to document the moment. (He totally called it.)
AC: Length of your relationship
Jesse: 2 1/2 years
Mariana: We’ve been dating for about two and a half years now.
AC: Describe your first date.
Jesse: First date included a pint of Haagen-Dazs and Aladdin among other Disney films. She asked to see The Little Mermaid, and I only agreed if she would give me a kiss.
Mariana: I’m curious to see what he says to this, but I consider our first date to be the first night we hung out and watched movies all night. He was on his way out to a party when a friend and I insisted that he stay with us instead. We all hung out in his room and eventually Jesse and I got into a conversation about our favorites movies, and I told him mine was Aladdin. We somehow managed to find the movie on YouTube and watched it until it was so late that we decided to call it quits for the night and just finish it later. The next day, he invited me back to finish Aladdin but surprised me with cookie dough ice cream and we ended up watching The Lion King and The Lion King II back-to-back. (Key to my heart: Disney movies and food.)
AC: What’s your favorite thing about Mariana/Jesse?
Jesse: My favorite thing about her is also the thing that nags me the most: her stubbornness. She is firm in her beliefs and is completely ready and able to stand up for what she believes in. It is also why we bicker so much.
Mariana: He will do anything to make someone happy. He’ll act crazy and goofy just to make everyone in the room laugh. He’ll do any favor you ask him for. He’s the person you call when you’re in a sticky situation. He’ll walk you home late at night or go out of his way to take you to the airport when you need a ride. He genuinely cares about his friends and it definitely shows.
AC: What is your favorite couple hobby?
Jesse: Taking walks together when it’s nice out. It’s a great way to spend quality time catching up with one another. I also love crosswalks (because it’s an excuse to hold her hand in public).
Mariana: My favorite thing we do together is volunteering. We’ve been volunteering for Campus Kitchens since freshman year. We normally do the cooking shifts, where we make meals for families in the Williamsburg area who are in need of assistance, and the “Fun @ Five” shifts, where we spend about two hours just hanging out with kids living in a local government funded development and provide them with a safe environment to play after school. We always end each shift exhausted and sore (especially when the kids demand to play soccer, not my forté), but it’s always a rewarding experience. Since we have such busy schedules, these small moments in our week help keep us grounded and give us a chance to see each other when we otherwise wouldn’t be able to.
AC: What do you think is the best William and Mary couple-hang out spot?
Jesse: It depends on the season. During the summer and spring it would definitely be lying out either at the Matoaka Amphitheatre or the dock on Lake Matoaka. But in the winter, I would definitely say Aromas. Getting her hot chocolate gets me points!
Mariana: My top two are the weekly Farmer’s Market on DoG Street and Lake Matoaka. Jesse loves the food at the Farmer’s Market and I love the dogs. I literally go just to see the dogs. Canoeing out on Lake Matoaka is perfect for a beautiful day. With such chaotic schedules, it’s nice to disconnect from everything going on and just spend some time paddling out and enjoying the scenery.
AC: What are three words to describe Mariana/Jesse?
Jesse: Three words are empathetic, devoted and expressive.
Mariana: Three words to describe Jesse: caring, selfless, spontaneous
AC: How do you make time for school, work, organizations, and a relationship?
Jesse: We are so busy that we need time to only think about one another. Back in the old day, we could spend the entire day together and see each other all the time. But now we have so much going on literally non-stop! Having experiences together outside of school, going on aimless drives or spending nights together is great when you have the time. But being productive (running errands, going to the gym, studying at Swem) are all ways to be together while getting real life things done. As for the organization aspect, there is no getting around the fact that we live two different lives. It takes a real concerted effort to ensure that I am balancing time in meetings and extracurricular activities with spending time with Mariana. This semester might be the most busy I have ever been. But in a way, it makes me appreciate the time I do spend with Mariana even more.
Mariana: The biggest adjustment we’ve had to make as we’ve gotten older is to learn to manage our time. Freshman year, we had all the time in the world. Everything was relaxed and had a go-with-the-flow kind of feel to it. Now, we’re so busy that the only time we see each other is when we make concrete plans. It’s definitely difficult, but it makes the time we have with each other more valuable.
AC: What are your Valentine’s Day plans?
Jesse: I actually got shafted with RA duty on Valentine’s Day and could not get out of it. So I plan on using the kitchen and the duty office’s movie selection to make some sort of romantic dinner and a movie type deal.
Mariana: Not sure yet….but they will definitely involve food.
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Couple 2: Lauren Collier and Carlton Smith
AC: Length of your relationship
Lauren: 4 months
Carlton: As of February 6th, it will be four months.
AC: How did you meet Lauren/Carlton?
Lauren: Apparently, we met briefly at Nerf Gun Club during the first semester of freshman year, but we didn’t really start talking until last spring.
Carlton: Actually, I met her freshmen year at a Nerf dart game.
AC: Where is your favorite place to go on dates? Why?
Lauren: I like outdoor dates, particularly the beach because it reminds me of home.
Carlton: I would say we tend to stay in more and just watch Netflix or relax and reconnect after a long week.
AC: What do the two of you have in common?
Lauren: Both of us like to have fun and are open to trying new things.
Carlton: We have similar tastes in television shows, books, and activities (like laser tag).
AC: What’s the most romantic thing you’ve done for Carlton/Lauren?
Lauren: I left him a cute note inside of his Christmas present.
Carlton: I met her parents, which is a first for me. Needless to say, I was really nervous.
AC: Do you guys have a couple theme song? What is it?
Lauren: As far as I know, we don’t have one yet.
Carlton: We haven’t actually picked out a theme song, but if I was to suggest one it would be “Love Is An Open Door” from the movie Frozen.
AC: What is your favorite movie to watch together?
Lauren: We’ve seen A LOT of movies over the past few months. I think my favorite one thus far has been Peeples though.
Carlton: A universal favorite for us is definitely The Avengers or anything Marvel-related.
AC: What’s the key to having a happy relationship?
Lauren: Well, we haven’t really been together long enough for me to be giving other people advice, but I can share what I’ve learned so far. Compromising has to happen on both sides and it can be hard sometimes. But, as long as both people are honest with their expectations, it shouldn’t be too difficult to find something that works for both people in the relationship.
Carlton: Trust and communication are the two things that a relationship is built off of. Without either one, there can be no happy relationship.
AC: If you could choose a color, what color would your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s personality be? Why?
Lauren: I would say he’s a solid red, as he puts a lot of energy and effort into the things that are important to him.
Carlton: Purple, not because it’s her favorite color, but because she can be mysterious and cryptic sometimes, which I enjoy!
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Couple 3: Aly Kozacek and Karl Chamberlin
AC: When and how did you guys meet?
Karl: We lived in the same dorm freshman year. We bonded and commiserated over Organic Chemistry.
Aly: We lived in the same freshman dorm (there was no dormcest that year though, I promise). I think we officially met when I went bursting through the open door to his room because I heard someone playing Carrie Underwood on the guys’ hall and I got a little overexcited. I assumed it was his roommate who I was friends with, so that ended up being the first of many (and counting) awkward experiences.
AC: Length of relationship
Karl: Two years and three months
Aly: 2 years and then some.
AC: Describe the best date that you and Karl/Aly have had.
Aly: My favorite was this past summer when I had just returned from study abroad in Costa Rica and we hadn’t seen each other in 3.5 months. I took a bus to Philadelphia and we spent the whole day at the zoo there. It was incredible to be reunited, and we got to see some of our favorite animals!
Karl: One night during our sophomore year, we spontaneously decided to go to Jamestown Beach and walked on the beach under the moon. It was the only date I can remember where we contained our laughter long enough to act like grown-ups and be romantic.
AC: Which William and Mary tradition do you think is the most romantic and why? Do you guys have your own couple traditions? If so, what are they?
Aly: Definitely Yule Log! It’s cold, so cuddling is encouraged, and it’s a very cheerful and relaxing atmosphere. The only tradition that we have as a couple is repeating the same bad jokes to each other way more times than should be acceptable–we’re too punny.
Karl: For us, I think the most romantic W&M tradition is studying because that’s how we spend most of our time together.
AC: List some nicknames that you have for Karl/Aly?
Aly: “K-dawg.” His 9-year-old (at the time) little brother helped me out with that one and it just stuck. Thanks, Luke!
Karl: Dude, Buttercup, Jellybean
AC: Describe a quality that Karl/Aly has that only you know.
Aly: Karl is genuinely the most supportive friend (and boyfriend) you could ever ask for–but only the lucky few are able to get really close to him.
Karl: She has a habit of collecting sweatshirts that belong to me.
AC: What are some interests/hobbies that the two of you have in common?
Aly: International health, a wide variety of musical genres, cute animals, and listening to me talk (haha)
Karl: Naps, kids’ movies, and warm weather
AC: If Karl/Aly was an animal, what animal would he be and why?
Aly: A wolf– he is pretty introverted and loyal. He always puts family first and is musical, smart, playful, and Swedish. I think it’s a good fit.
Karl: A minion from Despicable Me.
AC: If you and Karl/Aly were on a deserted island, what three items do you think he’d bring and why?
Aly: His water bottle (he brings one absolutely everywhere), a giant jug of hand sanitizer (he has an obsession–it’s pretty serious), and a supply of my almost-famous cake balls.
Karl: Her cat, Autumn, who she loves more than me, a heated blanket because she’s ALWAYS cold (even on a deserted island), and a baby or small child to ogle over.
Thank you to the wonderful couples that participated in the interviews! Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!