Words of Wisdom: Swem in all its social glory

The third floor is still the death sentence. The second floor is the new first floor. And the first floor is the new frat party.
 
What am I describing? Just guess. I dare you.
 
However, for those of us who have spent the last 2 hours staring at a computer screen and hoping that all of the readings we have to do for our classes magically become as interesting and captivating as Harry Potter once was, let me make it simple – I am referring to our very own library.
 
But before I go on and list all of the reasons Swem should not be the social center of our entire campus on almost every weeknight, let me be honest, IT IS.
 
If you thought that you were going to spend the next 10 minutes of your life reading all of the things I admire (yet hate) about Earl Gregg – guess again. Because while you would have been right, when I went back to proofread the article, I realized that it contained nothing clever, nothing insightful, and most insultingly, NOTHING RIDICULOUS.
 
So here it is – some great ways to stay awake in Swem.

1. Grab some friends. Line up at the Reference Desk. Now race to the Read and Relax area. Literally. Determine a winner. Reconvene. Line up. Repeat.

2. Read out loud. Emails. Facebook comments. Or even reading for classes you’re not actually interested in.

3. The Mews café desserts are delicious. When standing in line, turn around and ask the person behind you which dessert they plan to buy. Then turn back around and purchase the very last of that item. Repeat until you and your friends are no longer hungry.

4. Put in headphones. Turn on ipod. Scroll down to either Kesha or a Britney Spears throwback. Proceed to dance around the 2^nd floor hallway like no one is watching.

5. Open pack of gum. Take 3 pieces. Chew with mouth open and watch the computers around you free up.

6. Don an explorer hat and play India Jones. (For those of you not yet aware of this fabulous game, grab some friends, and try running in between the stacks as your friends wind them closed). Continue until a policeman comes and tries to make you stop. At which point, you should run, reconvene on another floor, and repeat.

7. Play the “who can yell the loudest” word game on the 3^rd floor. Inappropriate words are not only encouraged but mandatory.

8. Take solo cups. Fill with water, or any sort of non-alcoholic drinks (I’m NOT trying to land you in jail), and proceed to play rounds upon rounds of kings. Get rowdier with each game, and watch the onlookers flock to you.

9. Do jumping jacks. Everywhere. All the time. On every floor.

10. NEVER DO ANY OF THESE THINGS IN REAL LIFE. For the sake of your academic career, seriously.
 
Hope at least one of those made you smile. Now carry on my Swemmers, carry on.