Ever since MySpace has been dropped like “YOLO” and bell-bottom jeans, Facebook has become the bee’s-knees. People communicate via Facebook by posting a status, commenting on a friend’s status, uploading a picture or through messaging.
Facebook may be meant for communication, but entertainment is also a huge factor. When a Facebook fight breaks out, pop some popcorn and enjoy the show. It’s hilarious when people think they’re frightening by using caps lock.
We want to entertain people with our hilarious statuses and we want everyone to call us pretty when we post a picture.
But there isn’t a guide for how to properly use the Facebook machine.
What’s a good status? A good picture? Do I comment on this person’s status? Do I “like” an attractive guy’s picture he posted in 2009? The answer to that is no. He’ll know you’ve been creeping and then you’ll get embarrassed and then you’ll want to
So here are a few helpful tips on how to Facebook properly! Let’s focus on two main parts of Facebook: Statuses and pictures.
STATUSES
Want to tell everyone about how hard midterms are? Go for it. People can relate to complaints about tons of homework and you sound smart because you’re studying.
Want to complain about the weather? Unless you’re original with your “I hate snow” post, don’t do it. People have windows. They don’t need you to be their hourly weather report.
Don’t be afraid of awkwardness. Embrace it.
It’s super exciting when a lot of people ‘like’ your status that you worked so hard on! You’re just like
But if nobody ‘likes’ your status don’t let anyone tell you
It’s okay if only nobody or only a few people like your status. Not everyone understands how awesome you are.
The world weeps because some college students still don’t know the difference between “your” and you’re” and it’s just
But dealing with bad grammar is an unavoidable part of Facebook. If you’re a grammar nazi like me, then you know it’s extremely hard to read statuses with intentional incorrect grammar and it’s just like
Using correct grammar is important. You sound smart, sophisticated, like you’re actually in college, and people are more likely to take you seriously. And let’s face it, correct grammar is very attractive.
But you know what’s not attractive? When someone updates their status every five minutes. In case the zombie apocalypse has started or dinosaurs are back,
there’s no need to update your status 50 times a day.
Indirectly calling someone out or targeting a specific person with a status is a little immature. The cold truth is that the world doesn’t care if you’re butt-hurt over not getting a good morning text.
And then you can stop doing this
Post statuses that will let others connect with you. Telling everyone about a book you’re reading or a T.V. series you’re watching is a great way to share common interests with fellow Facebookers.
PICTURE TIME! Smile!
Be classy, people. If you’re underage, posting 20 pictures of you drinking is a no-no.
When it comes to selfies, less is more. You look a little attention starved with 15 selfies a day.
It’s great that you’re having a spectacular hair day! One picture can show that. One selfie a day is the recommended daily dose so people don’t start to hate you via Facebook.
A smile is more attractive than the duck-face.
If another girl wants to post half-naked pictures of herself in her bathroom, you don’t have to hate on her for showing off her body. Instead, have the attitude of
We should be supportive of our fellow girls wanting to be attractive.
When attractive guys post pictures of their abs you just ask yourself
No, you cannot get pregnant from that.
If you’re ever uncomfortable with a picture on Facebook, you can untag it. You shouldn’t feel pressured to post a picture you don’t like.
Following these tips will not give you abs like these
But they will give you a Facebook that’s worthy to be jealous of!
Picture Sources:
www.generallyincompetent.tumblr.com