Losing a Loved One

Death is an extremely tough topic to hear about, to deal with, and to speak about. If this topic is something that is a trigger for you, please do not continue reading. 

Recently, I lost someone who used to be my best friend. His fight with cancer was short, but he fought as hard as he could.

It is a strange feeling knowing that everyone’s days on this planet are numbered, and it’s an even stranger feeling knowing just how numbered some people’s are. Hearing the news that someone you love has less than 3 months to live is the most tragic and heartbreaking news to receive, especially knowing that there is nothing anyone can do to give that person more time. 

“They deserve more time,” “they have so much left to do with their lives,” and “why is this happening to such an amazing person” are the thoughts that played on repeat in my head. I wanted to see where life would take my friend in adulthood. I wanted to see him graduate college and create a life for himself that he could be proud of. He deserved that much. 

I avoided accepting someone who was so influential in my life for as long as I could. I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to feel it. I avoided it until I had no choice but to accept the emotions I was having. 

Something that I refused to do for a long time was to talk about how I was feeling to others. I felt it wasn’t my place to make someone else listen to how I was feeling. I felt guilty for how heartbroken I felt and that guilt stayed with me for weeks. 

After the funeral, I no longer had control over my emotions. All of the grief, hopelessness, and bone chilling sadness came to the surface. All of the tears I had been holding back came pouring down my face.

Showing so much raw emotion in one day is a lot for anyone. I’m not writing this article to make things about myself, or ask for pity. I want to help everyone understand that grief in any way is perfectly acceptable. 

Everyone deals with loved ones’ deaths differently, and there’s no right or wrong way to work through it. It is one of the hardest things anyone has to go through in life. Things to know about grief is that IT’S OKAY TO:

1. Cry, and to cry a lot. 
2. Not cry.
3. Reminisce and laugh at happy memories.
4. Talk to others about how you feel.
5. Miss the person you lost.

 What’s not okay is to feel guilty about anything you are feeling. All of the emotions that come with grief will vary from person to person, but that does not mean you shouldn’t be able to express yourself and feel everything that you are feeling. 

• death
• grief
• loss
• mental health