So maybe you’ve been in a relationship for a while and you are starting to question whether or not this guy is finally the one. Some doubts, especially in the beginning, are normal human reactions. As time goes on, though, there may be subtle signs that he may start to show to make you realize that maybe he actually is not the one.
1. If you don’t trust him.
If you can’t trust your boyfriend then that is a telltale sign that he isn’t the one. You should be able to trust him completely. Even those pangs on doubt or uncertainty shouldn’t exist. If you have to constantly question his loyalty then he is not the one for you.
2. If he expects you to conform to his ideas, beliefs, etc.
If he can’t hold a conversation without it turning into a debate every. Single. Time. Then he isn’t the one. He shouldn’t pressure you to believe certain ideologies or make you believe that yours are wrong simply because they do not align with his views. You are your own person. If he truly loved you, he would respect your beliefs and not turn it into a fight.
3. If you couldn’t see yourselves living together.
If you could not see yourselves every living together – especially when you’ve been together for a while – chances are he isn’t the one. It may take time to figure it out, but if you know as early as possible that you simply just could not live with him it probably isn’t meant to be.
4. If he raises your stress levels.
As college students, our stress levels are already pretty high. You don’t need an additional stressor, especially when he is supposed to be concerned about your wellbeing. Arguments and pettiness do not contribute anything but negativity and ongoing stress for both parties. You are both going through new changes, sometimes overwhelming, and you should be helping each other – not hindering one another.
5. If he doesn’t listen.
We all know what it’s like to have someone not listen to you. It’s frustrating, right? Well, if your boyfriend refuses to listen to anything that you have to say then it can be frustrating for the both of you. Sometimes it’s habit and we all zone out, but if he is constantly never giving you time to tell him how your day went or just a general story… he probably isn’t the one.
6. If it’s always on his time, not yours.
So, 6 and 7 are very close reasons but both very important. You simply can’t always do things on his schedule. Everyone is busy, but if he can’t take time out of his schedule to see you when you would do anything for him – he isn’t the one.
7. If he only does things when it’s convenient for him.
This goes hand-in- hand with the previous reason, but if he refuses to do anything unless it benefits him in one way or another then he probably isn’t the one.
8. If you’re not 100% comfortable around him (even though you may think you are.)
You can believe that you’re comfortable all you want. But when it comes to personal issues, certain bodily functions (yes, and I mean all the weird, loud, uncomfortable bodily functions) and even emotional bouts and you can’t truly be who you are around him – he’s not the one. You should be able to be 100% comfortable around him all of the time.
9. If there are double standards.
If your boyfriend gets mad at you for doing certain things that you would not even care about if he did them… there’s a problem. You shouldn’t have to live your life teetering around the edges when you know what you’re doing is completely fine. If you are hanging out with lifelong friends and he gets jealous, but he hangs with his own friends all the time and you let him enjoy it… there is a problem. If he gets jealous and mad at you over situations that you don’t even care about when he does… there’s a problem. And he isn’t the one.
10. If he just doesn’t care.
If your boyfriend just doesn’t care about you or your needs or anything revolving around your life in general – he probably isn’t the one. If someone truly loves you they will care about you through every ordeal – from major to miniscule. Yeah, sometimes he may get annoyed (admit it, all of us do), but even with this slight annoyance there should be some level of compassion.
It can be hard to come to the realization that he isn’t the one. You should never feel like your worth is being questioned. You are a treasure and deserve to be treated with the kindness and respect and care that you will irrevocably give. There are men like that out there – you just have to find them.