An Open Letter To Couch Burners

Dear Couch Burners of Morgantown,

I realize that the whole debate over couch burning at WVU already happened, but I never got to put my two cents in and after our big wins in basketball, I would like to. I love WVU, Morgantown and our sports teams just as much as you do, but my love also comes with a great amount of respect.

I’ve never really understood people’s obsessions with couch burning or why it is a tradition at our school, but it is and quite frankly I think it’s ridiculous. Maybe it’s because I’m only a sophomore, or maybe I’m just not as crazy as a lot of other WVU students, but I think it’s time we find a new tradition.

Us mountaineers take so much pride in our school and it’s our responsibility to ensure that we keep our campus safe and beautiful. Times have changed and so has law enforcement. First of all, burning a couch is arson and it is illegal. I don’t mean it’s illegal like drinking under the age of 21 or driving without your seatbelt on – it’s a big deal. The punishments for arson include, but are not limited to; prison, $50,000+ fines, probation, and restitution. I think those are good enough reasons to stop burning furniture on the street.

“In 2011 40 students were expelled or suspended for burning couches.” Do you really want to lose the opportunity of a college education that so many people would kill for just because you had to burn a couch? I sure hope not. WVU is more than just a party school. We have amazing athletics, student government, teachers, and not to mention all the amazing, huge successes that have graduated from here. Do you think Billy Mays, Steve Harvey, Taylor Kinney, Conchata Ferrell, or any of the other amazing notable WVU alumni made it to success by burning couches? They didn’t.

If you Google search the words “couch burning” almost every result on the first page references WVU because we are probably the only school left who still does this. We might even be the only school to have ever done it – I don’t really know. I do know that couch burning became a felony in Morgantown in 2011. I also know that for burning a couch in Morgantown – whether it is your couch or not – you could face up to three years in prison. Yes, three, for burning a couch because it is “tradition”.

Speaking of tradition, after further research, it has come to my attention that NO ONE knows where, when, or how this tradition started – what kind of tradition is that? The only thing we gain from burning couches is more publicity, and half the time the publicity is bad, horrible actually. If we refrained from burning couches, maybe people would want to talk about how amazing we are and what a great school we are.

WVU it’s time to grow up. We need to show people that, yes we can party our asses off (obviously), but we can settle down and have respect for others and for our community at the same time. I think it’s time we all find a new tradition – one that will keep our students out of prison and still show everyone what a great time we are. Lets start a tradition that everyone will know about and be proud of (like singing country roads), a tradition that actually has a beginning. When we grow older and WVU is still participating in our tradition we can tell everyone that it started with us. Let’s show everyone that we’re more than just crazy, loud, wild, couch burning college students. Let’s show them that we like to party but we are sensible enough to know when to draw the line. Let’s make a change.

Yours Truly,

Alex

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