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The GOP Race: As Told By Mean Girls

Maty Swartz
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at WVWC chapter.

Unless you’ve been completely cut off from the outside world for the past six months, odds are you’ve heard all about the GOP candidates and their quest for the Republican presidential nomination. You’ve also probably caught wind of the outlandish debates (and the ridiculous number of candidates who have participated in them), the mudslinging, the name-calling and of course, Donald Trump’s doubly absurd and politically incorrect statements. The immaturity displayed by some of the GOP candidates (*cough cough, Donald Trump/Marco Rubio, cough cough*) could even be likened to a group of petty high schoolers trying socially sabotage one another. So, in honor of Super Tuesday, here are some of those crazy GOP characters portrayed as actual characters from the cult-classic, Mean Girls. 

The Plastics

1. Donald Trump: Regina George

Really, would you expect anything less? Much to the chagrin of the other candidates, Donald Trump is currently the Queen B of the presidential race. He’s ruthless, self-centered and ferociously critical of others—and he will stop at nothing when it comes to exacting his revenge. Despite the heinously offensive remarks and chaotic rallies, his presence is only magnified by nonstop media coverage and surging poll numbers.   

2. Ted Cruz: Karen Smith 

Oh, Ted. Remember that “New York values” comment? Classic case of foot-in-mouth disease—or in this case, hand-in-mouth. Plus, the poor guy just looks really confused. All the time. 

3. Marco Rubio: Gretchen Wieners

He stayed above the fray of mockery and name-calling for the better part of the campaign. Heck, he was even doing pretty well in the polls (even though his numbers were marginal compared to Trump’s)—but then he cracked, just like Gretchen Wieners. But will he crash and burn? Guess we’ll find out…. 

…And the Others 

They may have dropped, but they still deserve an Honorable Mention, right?

1. Chris Christie: Bethany Byrd 

Despite being made into a farce by the Trumpeter himself, Chris Christie is now endorsing the GOP front-runner. Like Bethany here, we can only assume that Christie is hoping that some of Trump’s power and popularity among voters will rub off on him. Maybe being a minion isn’t as terrible as it’s cracked up to be?

 

2. Jeb Bush: Cake Girl 

Poor Jeb. He just wanted everyone to vote and be happy.  

And there you have it! Happy Super Tuesday, collegiette! 

Maty Swartz

WVWC '18

Maty recently graduated Summa Cum Laude from West Virginia Wesleyan College (WVWC), and she couldn’t be more excited to return to the Her Campus family as a member of the Community Team.  Maty’s passion for writing has guided her through most of her adult life, and it eventually brought her to to the Her Campus Chapter Network as a Style Blogger for Her Campus WVWC. Maty would go on to become Campus Correspondent of her chapter, as well as an intern for Her Campus National and a Chapter Advisor.  Through her different roles at HC, Maty quickly fell in love with the mission and purpose of the Her Campus Chapter Network—and in her new role, Maty has the rare and coveted opportunity to do what she loves on a daily basis by working with a growing network of 360+ college chapters.    When Maty isn’t at the office, she’s usually out exploring, cooking some random recipe she found on Pinterest, or cuddling with her adorable corgi, Winnie.  Follow Maty on Twitter and Instagram !