…Because apparently the concept isn’t clear to some people.
Sex is a big topic on college campuses. We’re all on our own and making our own decisions―and we try to make good ones, right? We’re even offered some help from our school along the way. (Remember the 15 minutes you spent clicking through Alcohol EDU and Haven as a freshman, just to get it over with?) Why is it, then, that so few college students have a clear and comfortable knowledge of what consent is and how it operates in sexual situations?
I was appalled this week to read some ignorant posts on an app called Yik-Yak (if you don’t know what it is, you’re better off staying under that particular rock). One of my peers wrote, “The girl was most likely drunk. So it’s probably her fault.” I was disgusted. There are no circumstances whatsoever that warrant blame being placed on the victims of sexual assault. If an individual, male or female, is drunk, they are unable to fully consent to any sexual activity. Period.
Wait until everyone is sober to do the deed; you’ll have a clear head and I promise everything will be far more enjoyable. Sex with drunk people just isn’t fun―I’m sure plenty of you can attest to that.
All joking aside, consent is important and it can be ensured by asking questions that take less than 30 seconds to sort out. (“Do you want to have sex?” usually works pretty well.)
Consent is not short shorts or crop tops. It’s not 5 shots at the party you just left. It’s not “maybe” or “I don’t know.” Consent is not “but we’ve done it before.”
Consent is a sober, clear, enthusiastic and ongoing “yes” from BOTH (or all) parties involved a sexual encounter.
Lastly, if you have ever been a victim of sexual violence, it isn’t your fault. Don’t be afraid to confide in someone you trust and get help. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to get help or resolution. Stay strong, collegiettes, and strive to educate those around you on these important issues.