How to Know You May be Dating a Psychopath
“My friend knew this guy and I was worried he was a psychopath. For one thing, he always mooched off of my friend. She had money and I guess that is what he was after the most. He was also a pathological liar. He used to send pictures of people and say, “Oh that’s my cousin,” or, “Oh this is my girlfriend.” We never ended up confronting him although we knew he was lying. He continues to lie though and tell stories about this fake life he has created for himself. It’s like how boring is your life if you feel the need to lie about it all the time?”
-Kim Dowdle, ‘19
Ignore the stigma that comes with the name, psychopaths often go unnoticed and there are many more out there than you think. Picture the most arrogant, stuck up person you can think of. Yes, the one that’s two-faced, the guy that gave you candy and flowers but ended up being a total douche. Even they convey psychopathic tendencies.
As a disclaimer, I’m no psychologist. I’m in Psychology 101, and I only briefly learned about the differences between psychopaths and sociopaths. However, I found the casual appearacne of psychopaths so intriguing. So upon watching American Psycho three times and doing some interesting internet research, I have gathered some pretty common signs that show through the average psychopath.
Differentiating psychopaths and sociopaths
Before getting farther in, it is only fair to briefly desribe the big differences that seprate one from being a sociopath and a psychopath. Psychopaths tend to put up a genuine front when you meet them. They seem to be interested and actively trying to pursue you. In reality, however, they have a hidden agenda of sorts, they aren’t as genuine as they seem.
Sociopaths tend to be more impulsive. They have pretty similar characteristics to those of a psychopath however they actually feel remorse for their actions and they tend to act heavier on impulse. Psychopaths tend to calculate their actions to every last detail, and once they execute their plans they feel no remorse for who they hurt in the process, and they will do anything it takes to get to their goal.
Upon seeing someone, it is not always easy to tell if they are a psychopath. In fact studies have shown that they are often very successful and very powerful! However, keep this list of sign in mind upon meeting just about anyone in your life.
An aura/sense of power or importance
Psychopaths tend to think they are more important than everyone. They tend to radiate a sense of superiority that intimidates others. Studies have suggested that powerful leaders, such as CEOs, tend to have psychopathic tendencies.
They’re always bored
If they are someone who tends to get restless easily, and need constant stimulation and stuff to do, then they may or may not at least have psychopathic tendencies. Do not allow this to be the only deciding factor, though seeing as how many people just get bored easily by nature.
They’re a pathological liar
If they are anything like what my friend Kimberly has described, then you definitely have someone with major psychopathic tendencies. Whether the lies are small but impactful, or large scale life style qualities such as a fake spouse, the lies are obviously told to convey that they live a more extravangent life than you. The constant competition through deception is a telltale sign of psychopathy.
They’re manipulative
They won’t do anything nice for you without a hidden agenda. They send you chocolates and flowers and they shower you with affections, but only if you do this, or that. Their intentions look positive but they are in reality everything but. If they are cunning, and manipulative, not only are they a giant douche, but you might have yourself a psychopath. They can manage to have any effect on you just by saying the right thing, and they manage to get you to do whatever they wants you to do just by being convincing. They have a hold on you just as a puppeteer would have.
They have no emotional response nor guilt over actions
If they do something to hurt anyone, such as inflicting physical or emotional pain on someone, and he feels relatively no guilt, then thats a major red flag. It doesn’t matter how large scale the damage is, they feel no response to whatever occured. Typically people show emotional responses to tragic events whether they happen to themselves or others, and if you encounter someone that visibly feels no guilt over their actions, then that can be a major indicator of psychopathy.
They mooch off of you
If their sense of importance comes exclusively from materialism, that is a definite warning sign. In order to feel better they will attain riches by any means necessary, including your wallet. Be wary of someone that has a greater desire to be in your wallet than in your heart.
Check their dating history
Showing a lack of long-term romantic relationships can link to calculated impulsive behavior, which can be seen as a red flag. The same goes for if they happen to be promiscuous. Although this behavior isn’t the heaviest link to psychopathy, it is a definite red flag in general when considering this person in a long-term context.
(information courtesy of Wikihow, Psychology: From Inquiry to Understanding” (3rd Edition), by Lilienfeld, Lynn, Namy, and Wool, and Business Insider)