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12 Signs that You’re a Pro-Instagram-Stalker

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Xavier chapter.

We all have those moments when we are cramming for a test and just need an excuse for a break. Instagram provides a nice and quick distraction to clear our minds. But all you pro-stalkers out there know that a 5 minute news feed scroll through can turn into a 2 hour frenzy of stalking other peoples’ pictures. Here are some stages that all of us stalkers go through.

1. You’re casually scrolling through Instagram for a quick break.

2. You see that one of your newly added Instagram friends – someone you have maybe seen once around campus – posted a picture with a boy.

People are commenting with hearts and kissy faces.

3. Now it’s your job to find out if that’s her boyfriend, half-boyfriend, or just friend. Also to find out how long they’ve been dating if they are in a relationship.

4. You scroll through her profile and click on every picture with this boy, like a pro-investigator.

You scroll all the way down for two years of pictures, just to see how long they have been dating.

5. YOU ACCIDENTALLY DOUBLE TAPPED ON A PICTURE SHE POSTED 2 YEARS AGO. ROOKIE MISTAKE!!!!!

6. You quickly unlike it but know she already saw the notification. You tell yourself to put your big-girl panties on and move on. You then click on her boyfriend’s profile.

7. Scrolling through his pictures, you see he has a really cute friend. Time to stalk his friend!

8. NOOOOOOO HE HAS A PRIVATE ACCOUNT!

9. You contemplate friending him, and you’re feeling ballsy that day so you just go for it.

10. You realize you’ve been on Instagram for an hour, but really don’t want to return to your homework.

11. You go to your own profile and begin to stalk yourself. Looking at your most liked photos and scrolling through your old ones. You think, “Wow I’ve come a long way.”

12. Two hours later you now feel accomplished and decide to forget the studying and just go to bed.

Picture Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Angela Provenzano is an Occupational Therapy major at Xavier University. She loves sunsets, chocolate, puppies and other non-cliché things.