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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

How To Be A Good Boyfriend, Or Girlfriend

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Xavier chapter.

Both guys and girls probably often wonder if they’re a good boyfriend or girlfriend to their significant other. Gentlemen – and ladies – if you’re reading this, I hope your mind is set at ease in wondering if your significant other is a keeper.

1. A simple “I love you” text goes a long way, especially when you know you’re busy.

Life is a combination of both the big and little things. Guys usually tend to struggle with appreciating the little things in life more than girls do. Send your girl a simple “I love you” text to show you’re thinking about her, even when you’re swamped with school work or at your part-time job. The simple things in life show your girl you’re not taking your relationship for granted. Plus, girls like receiving sweet texts like that. Even an ‘I miss you” text shows you’re thinking about her. If you’re a girl and think you don’t appreciate the little things, maybe send a sweet text to your boyfriend. There are plenty of boyfriends who also love receiving “I love you” or “I miss you” texts.

2. Make her/him feel comfortable to be seen in public with you.

Tune into your girl’s emotions and focus on trying to understand her. You can also pay attention to her body language in order to help you understand what she may or may not be feeling. Some guys work out all the time in order to make their girl feel comfortable to be seen with them. But looks aren’t everything. What’s most important is understanding your girl and being supportive as possible of her, whether that’s helping her study or getting her coffee and food. Guys aren’t one to show emotions as openly as girls, but ladies, you can also try and tune into your boyfriend’s emotions. For example, if you can tell he’s in a bad mood, try and make his day better by doing something sweet for him.

3. Put her/him first, when you can.

Gentlemen, I cannot stress this enough. Your girl will feel pretty special if (in most cases) you put her first. For example, let her have the last slice of pizza or the first sip of a drink on a hot day. The only way for you to be a good boyfriend is if she is a good girlfriend to you. Therefore, you’re bringing out the best in each other. Make her day better if she’s had a stressful day and she’ll do the same in return. Girls, to put your man first, you can most likely do this by helping him out when he needs you most. Help him when he’s in a sticky situation, and he’ll return the favor in the future.

4. Be sympathetic to her/his (and anyone else’s) issues.

If your girl is having an issue, just be there to listen, even if you don’t understand the issue. Just listening shows your girl that you care and that you’re willing to help her out if you can. Even helping out others in front of your girl shows you not only care about other people but are a good, genuine person on the inside and out. For girls, they can do the same. Just listen to your man and helping others in front of him shows you care about others as well.

5. Put effort into your relationship.

Once again, this comes back to cherishing the little things in life. Little things can make a big difference, especially for a girl. Personally, I’d like to say I’m pretty easy to please. You could give me a pair of socks with cats on them and I’d be a pretty happy gal! But the point is to make sure you do the little things – clean the room or send a short and sweet text – for your girl. For example, if she’s had a rough day, make dinner and then throw on a movie. Don’t forget the popcorn and pajamas! The little things will make her day 10x better because she won’t have to worry about anything but just relax and spend time with you. Girls, you can do the same (make dinner, clean his room, etc.) for your man.

6. Provide an honest place for your girl/man.

Guys, being honest with yourself – and your girl – fosters trust. As a human being, I understand that uneasy feeling of whether or not you can trust someone with your secrets. Being able to confide in someone and be emotionally, physically, and spiritually intimate is one of the scariest but most important hallmarks of a good relationship. Trust helps foster a long, fulfilling, most enduring, and healthy relationship. In general, listening and talking with your partner helps build the trust between you two, as well as it builds communication between the two of you.

7. Surprise her/him.

Little surprises will keep your girl/man on their toes. For example, if she talks about a specific book she wants to read, you can pretend you’re not listening or change the subject. But later, order or buy the book and give it to her. She’ll be surprised you remembered. If she says she doesn’t want dessert, order dessert. She wants dessert. She’ll most likely thank you later. Ladies, you could surprise your man with tickets to a football game (if he’s into sports) he’s been wanting to see. Surprises are very good and there are many ways guys can go about them in terms of size, price, or thought of the surprise. Surprises also show your girl/guy you were thinking of them.

Leah Himes

Xavier '19

Leah Himes is a senior English major with psychology and writing minors. She is from Cincinnati, Ohio. When she is not working on HCXU stuff, she is hanging with friends, listening to music, working at Starbucks or eating mac n' cheese in her slippers on the couch.