A few weeks ago, Chief Ronnell Higgins’ email outlining a reported case of acquaintance rape stirred up the ongoing discussion of Yale’s misogynistic sexual climate. Obviously, there is a problem—reoccurring incidents of sexual misconduct have led to a Title IX investigation. A new-found administrative panel was established to discuss the factors contributing to the imbalanced culture that drives negative sexual attitudes on campus, as well as hot blooded opinions and vitriolic rebuttals.
First off, allow me to clear up any misconception surrounding the term. Acquaintance rape is defined as being subjected to unwanted sexual intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, or other sexual contact through the use of force or threat of force. Sexual coercion is defined as unwanted sexual intercourse, or any other sexual contact subsequent to the use of menacing verbal pressure or misuse of authority (Koss, 1988). I apologize for the dry, technical definition, but the gravity of the phrase can only be conveyed in such a serious tone. So now we can move forward on the same page.
Obviously, I found the reported case of acquaintance rape disconcerting, yet the email itself encouraging. The courage it took to report an act of unwanted sexual contact, especially involving someone you know, is (in my opinion) beyond bold and daring. It is heroic. I commend the fierce girl who took it upon herself to serve justice, set an example and draw a hard line.
Unfortunately, we are facing a harsh reality: rape happens. As college students, we are in an environment where drug use, alcohol, stress, and hormones lower inhibition and increase reckless behavior. This does NOT mean that rape is acceptable. This does NOT excuse unwanted sexual contact. This does NOT mean that women who flirt shamelessly, wear promiscuous clothing, wink, smile seductively, shake what their momma gave them, or take a guy home are asking for sexual contact. This does NOT indicate that any form of sexual contact is wanted, or that a man has a right to assume such. This does NOT mean that no means yes, or that no response means yes, or that no means an extensive discussion is in order to convince a woman on the benefits of having a drunken one night stand.
So the problem remains that, in the midst of an environment where lewd sexual conduct seems the norm, the attitudes of the masses reflect this norm. Talk about a vicious cycle.
As a newly single Yale girl, have found myself back on the battleground (can we really call it a dating field?) fraught with misogynistic, coercive, self righteous males. Whether this male subtype is a result of the sexual culture of Yale, the fact that I have poor taste in men, or the fact that college-aged males are the most duplicitous group of chaps in the animal kingdom, is unclear. Frankly, it doesn’t really matter, either. What does matter is that women on campus continually find themselves in sexual situations in which guilt, guile, and force are wielded to batter down our self respect, will power, and resolve.
The ambiguity associated with acquaintance rape and coercion causes women to feel unsure, guilty and worth of blame for instances of unsolicited sexual contact. Consequently, as a collective, we Yale women must honor our dignity, sharpen our number 2 pencils, and draw a clear line between what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, between what is a mutually pleasurable sexual experience and what constitutes unwanted sexual contact, whether in the form of rape, coercion or violation. We need to set the tone, write the rules, and above all, stay on the same page.