Here is a brutally honest account of the worst pickup lines and one-liners I’ve received thus far this semester. To the men who inspired said article, worry not, your identity will remain anonymous. All I ask is that for the sake of Yale women’s mental, emotional, and sexual well-being you strike said phrases from your collection of suave.
“Want to leave? We could go to my room and listen
to some Bossa Nova.”
“I’m emotionally damaged. Aren’t you into psychology? Don’t you want to fix me?”
“Are you up for another night of tea and candles?”
“I go to Yale, too. I mean… I work there.”
“Are you a freshman?”
“Yeah, I don’t really have much emotional depth.”
“I’m in AdPhi.”
(2:28 AM)
Anonymous: Are you out?
Me: I am in bed. I have a sinus infection.
Anonymous: Oh, I’m sorry. I have a great humidifier; let me know if you want to watch a movie.
Anonymous: I wanted you to be my naughty schoolgirl ;)
(TIP: Don’t go full winky face until texting norms have been established. In such circumstances as above, the effect can be quite startling.)
Male in question points to a picture on the menu and asks: “Would you date this guy?”
I respond in the negative.
Male in question proceeds to points to himself and asks: “What about this guy?”