We’ve all been there. Expecting a big night, you pull out your razor, dust it off, and watch days/weeks/months of neglect swirl down the drain. You straighten your hair, glide on the mascara, and let your neckline plunge beyond PG levels. With the desire to go home with someone, specific or random, you stand by the bar feeling somewhere in between cougar and idiot. And by the time 2 am rolls around, your only company being a G-Heav sandwich, you bathe in disappointment, wasted and wasting away at the thought of another wasted night. Ironically, your night was probably fun; but still you sulk at the end result of being one person down by the time you reach your bed.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that good things (sex) happen when you least expect it. Though this statement runs contrary to the law that people typically get exactly what they expect, trust me on this one. When you put pressure on yourself to hook up, you become too self-conscious and aware. Reckless flirting and carefree dancing become tied with meaning as you check to see who is watching you, begin reading into conversations, and pull out your binoculars to spy on the guy who smiled at you. The night is not a problem set kids, stop overanalyzing it. When you go out for yourself with the intention of having fun for yourself and with your friends, you beam an aura of nonchalant hotness which people are instantly attracted to (if you’ve ever seen me out, you know exactly what aura I’m talking about). But actually. At Yale people feel the need to always be calculated and intentional; they set a goal and then derive a gameplan from some statistical analysis or computer algorithm. Please don’t bring your calculator to the pregame, not only does it clash with your bodysuit, but it also prevents you from having fun for yourself.
So stop measuring your night based off the end result. Relax. Enjoy. If it happens, good. If it doesn’t, fine. If it not happening is simply unacceptable, then make it happen (text 30 people, odds are at least two say yes. Make it a threesome).