The Hunger Games: Mocking Me
“In my Freshman year, I was told it wasn’t cool to wear your ID and lanyard around your neck. I didn’t wanna look like the lame Freshman so I carried it in my hand. I ended up leaving it somewhere and I couldn’t swipe into the dining hall for a week. I was too embarrassed to ask my friends so I ate Ramen the whole time!” – Junior
The Elephant Fart in the Room
“I’d missed a test so my professor let me do a makeup exam. I was the only one taking the test and the room was dead silent. My stomach started to rumble and I knew something was going to go down. Right before I got up to turn in my test, I farted. We made eye contact for painful seconds before I walked out.” – Sophomore
The Girl Who Cried Fire Alarm
“On Reading Day, the free day before final exams, I decided to balance out all the late night studying by sleeping in. Unfortunately, I forgot to turn my alarm off on my phone. To make sure I wake up for classes, my alarm tone is the bullhorn and I had my volume all the way up. At 6 am, it woke me up. It was so loud that I thought it was the fire alarm. I ran out of my room yelling for my roommates to get out. We got all the way downstairs before I realized what happened. They didn’t talk to me for three days.” – Senior
Nightmare on Orientation Street
“It was the first day of Freshman Orientation and we had to meet at Grumbacher Gymnasium before going off on separate activities. My stomach had been hurting all morning, but I just told myself I was hungry. I got some snacks and juice that were offered but it didn’t help. Finally, I figured I should go to the bathroom. When I got there, I realized I had started my period! There was a huge red stain on the back of my pants. Thankfully, my best friend was with me and she let me borrow her jacket. I owe her for that one!” – Freshman
Oh Crap-tain, my Crap-tain
“Right before my last class of the day, I really had to go to poop. I went to my dorm and, glad to see my roommates were gone, went straight to the bathroom. While I was in there, I started singing a made-up song that consisted of ‘Oh Craptain, my Craptain.” I thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. When I got out, I was horrified to see my roommate had come home and her boyfriend and her boyfriends hot friends were in our living room. It was so embarrassing I ran to my room!” – Junior
The Bigger They Are, The Shuttle They Fall
“It was a good day, even though the weather wasn’t the best. I only had two classes, I had breakfast and lunch. I felt like I deserved to take the shuttle because it had started to rain. At my stop, I got off of the shuttle humming “Singing in the Rain.” On the last step, my foot stepped on the front of my pants and I fell flat on my face. The shuttle driver asked me if I was okay, but everyone else on the shuttle was laughing. – Sophomore
Yours, Mine, and Ours
I went to Rutter’s with my friends one weekend to get some food (gotta love those mac and cheese bites). It was 10:00 pm on a Saturday so obviously it was full of drunk people who crawled over from Jackson Street. My friends and I ordered our food and, while we were waiting for it, a guy with his friends (all obviously drunk) walked in front of the milk that’s put out for the tea and coffee. One of the guys turns around, grabs one of the pints of milk, and takes a giant swig. I watched in horror as he looked me in the eye, laughed, and said ‘shhh’ with his finger over his lips. #savage #nothingissacred.” – Junior