I’ve always thought a long-distance relationship was a bad idea. Maybe because I had witnessed too many people around me get severely hurt during them. Or maybe the idea of committing to someone on such a level was always hard for me to imagine. But mainly, because I feel that love is more beautiful the old-fashioned way. I am a strong advocate for face-to-face conversations and very much against a world where people have become used to saying I love you over text.
For these reasons, I never imagined myself to be in one. I was mistaken. Unfortunately, I was not mistaken about the difficulties of long-distance relationships.
In the beginning, when two people decide to continue a relationship from different parts of the world, it may seem romantic because in many ways it implies that while there are all these people that are physically available, what you have with that significant other is so special that you would rather, despite the challenge, hold on to them.” But the question is, can this last, and is it worth it?
What I found in my experience was that in fact, holding onto that person became more painful as time passed. Missing each other and not being able to be with each other reached a point where it became simply unbearable, pushing the both of us to show our ugly sides. As human beings it’s normal for us to feel certain emotions and even more normal to express them; in fact, we need to be taught that acknowledging that we feel emotions such as sadness, jealousy, anger or spite is not a bad thing at all. However, when the person you’re with lives miles away and doesn’t have the ability to put your mind at ease or comfort you the way you need to be comforted, it can feel pretty lonely and isolating.
Perhaps, eventually, we get tired of constantly checking our phones, wondering why they haven’t responded to our texts. Perhaps, eventually, we get tired of living inside our phones and missing out on being with the people that are actually around us. Perhaps, eventually, we get tired of simply watching couples who have the luxury of enjoying each other’s company.
Of course, I don’t think all long-distance relationships are doomed to fail. I have seen one that carried on for about three years between two loving people who eventually went on to get married. But to me, the difference is how long you’ve already known that person before you decide to do long-distance. More importantly, I think a long-distance relationship is only worth it if you can’t imagine your future without that person.