Self-confidence is something that doesn’t come easy to most people; through the rollercoaster ride of emotions and experiences that is life, we sometimes forget how to take care of ourselves. It’s important to realize that this should not be taken lightly. From what I have experienced — everything we go through, from any type of relationship to our view of the outside world — relies heavily on how we see and feel towards ourselves.
I wish that these words were imprinted on the hearts of everyone in the world. I also wish that confidence wasn’t something that we all struggle with throughout our entire lives but, alas, life is full of never-ending battles.
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As long as we don’t respect ourselves and put our own needs before the needs of others, our friends, partners and even parents might not take us seriously. Nothing breaks my heart more than when I hear friends tell me about how a boy’s extracurricular activities don’t surprise them anymore or how an inevitable part of being in a relationship with most guys is being cheated on. Worst part is, they think they have themselves to blame; why? “Because the girls around him are much prettier than me.”
And it makes me wonder: why is it so easy to love other people in a matter of minutes and so difficult to love ourselves, the ones that matter the most? When will we realize that as long as we don’t love ourselves, we can’t love anyone else the way they deserve to be loved?
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Of course, talking about being confident is a whole different story than actually learning to value self-love, but there are ways to go about it. As cliché as this might sound, the phrase “fake it ’til you make it” is what I found helped me the most: we go around trying on different masks until we find the one that fits right. Throughout the process of finding the perfect one, we need to trick ourselves into thinking we are content until we start to believe it. We need to search for all the different people, feelings and hobbies that bring us the biggest pleasure and stick to them.
The one thing that can motivate us again after a bad fall, teach us how to respect ourselves, and prioritize ourselves in a relationship by not relying on others to provide us with all things necessary to our souls, is some self-love.