Sister,
We’re not so different, you and I.
We carry our burdens in bicycle baskets
On the road to nowhere
And we take hope in the stars;
I think there’s beauty in that.
Today, you looked my way
And I caught myself hoping.
Maybe
This time
You would see how similar we are.
Maybe this time you would see I’m hurting too.
When you looked my way
Your eyes glazed over.
I thought about the time
You cut your hair — August was almost done
And you shaved the last bits of it off;
It was patchy.
I think deep down I knew why you did it,
When you gave me that old look.
That look
Like you didn’t know where you were going
And you’ve always felt so alone; I get it.
Someone told you that you looked
Like a stray dog.
You were a wild, beautiful mess
And I remember seeing your journal open on your bed: “Lone wolf howling at the moon,
Still no one comes.”
I asked you once
Why you brought that boy home.
You were just a sophomore
And you knew you would get
Caught,
So why?
“They don’t hit
All
That
Hard,”
You said.
But they hit hard enough to see.
In the wintertime
Your hair was back.
It was uneven,
It wasn’t long,
But I knew you’d leave it that way.
I think you wanted to look as unpretty as you felt.
When I looked at you
I could feel your reasons for it.
You pushed me away
And I think you thought
I was happy, but
I was always better at hiding things than you were.
Sister, remember I said this
And you’ll see it too, one day:
We’re not so different
You and I.
We carry our burdens in bicycle baskets,
Too scared to go and leave them behind.