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An Open Letter to the Friendships That Have Faded

Kaitlin Kenny
Alexandria Galli
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at York U chapter.

This is for all the folks I’ve called my friends, my best friends, my siblings from other dribblings; For the ones I spent summers, recesses, and sleepovers with, who I planned my future with. We’d get married in the same church, live in the same house with our spouses, and go on road trips together just because. This is a letter for those who came by without notice with some tequila and grenadine, declaring it was a “drink night.”  I’d laugh and say it’s a Tuesday. You’d laugh too, but still pour me a drink. This is for the people whose kids would call mine cousins, for those with that were “best buds for life,” sisters forever. This is for the friendships long neglected, or those severed with a blade that still cuts deep, or those where the wound has fully healed. You know who you are. This is for you.

 

Photo from Pexels

 

I remember how I met you. All of you. I remember the times we’ve fought, and the times we made up. I remember every sleepover, how we’d make wild plans and do dumb stuff. I remember each fit of laughter that winded us. It feels like just yesterday, but I know it’s been weeks, months, years. I want you to know I haven’t forgotten you. I still remember your birthday, your favourite colour, and your first heartbreak. Do you remember the time we went swimming at the bluffs on Lake Superior, or when we went out clubbing and had people awkwardly hit on us? No matter how much it hurts, I look back on those days and smile. 

Photo from Stocksnap

Every great friendship has a beginning, and therefore must inevitably come to an end. Ours always ended too soon, but I respect this fact, whether it meant a huge blowout fight, or slowly drifting away. Maybe it was because we had grown incompatible, or because one of us moved away. With every happy memory of the start comes the sad recollection of the end. I know that not all friendships can last, and I know we may never talk again but, God, I loved you so much. I still do. Knowing that we have lost our beautiful relationship breaks my heart, but time did and will continue to heal this sadness. Even though we’ve grown apart, there are so many things I want to tell you.

 

I want you to know how much I cherish you and your memory. For each tear I’ve shed, I also have a memory of us having a great time. I remember you destroying me in Mario and Halo. I remember you getting me hooked on Big Brother. I remember you picking out special Valentines for me from the cartoon card packs. “I love you BEARY much!” 

 

Photo by Oleg Green from Flickr

I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the stupid fights, and for allowing things to fade. It takes two to tango, and I wish I learned how to dance. If I could take all of our drama back for just one more moment with you, I would. But, this is our current situation, and it may never change. It may sting, but that’s okay.

 

Photo from Shopify

Mostly, though, I want you to know how much I still love you. I need you to know that I will always be cheering you on from the sidelines. I still see your Facebook and Instagram photos, and I’m happy that you’re doing so well with your life. I ask my mother and grandmother how you’re doing sometimes. If you ever do need me, I will be there faster than you can say “I miss you.” I will message you back. I will hop on the bus. I will buy you chocolate ice cream and a rom com the second you say you need me. We may not be friends anymore, but you will forever have a piece of my heart and I will always love you and all the happiness you once brought me.

 

Truth be told, I sometimes wonder if you feel the same way about me. Do you ever think about me, regret the past, and smile at our memories? You might not, and that’s okay. If you ever want to reconnect, I promise I’ll be there. I have a million memories and a million smiles from you. You are a beautiful person; you have given me so much joy and I know you will do the same for so many others.

Photo from Unsplash

I miss you, even though I know this kind of stuff happens. But I know you’ll be okay, that I’ll be okay.

Thank you for the wonderful years together and for being there for me. 

Thank you.

With lots of love, your sister forever,

 

Kait “Fenton” Kenny

Kaitlin is a bilingual (French and English) writer originating from friendly Thunder Bay. They are in their seventh year at York University, where they study professional writing with an emphasis on journalism. They live with their partner of nine years and their cat, Tessa. They started writing with a passion and a poem that eventually won third in a contest 12 years ago, and started editing not too long after. When not at the keyboard, Kaitlin can be found reading, cooking, playing video games, or holding Tessa. Their favorite movies are scary and their favorite television genre is reality. Kaitlin's passions include copyediting, anything scary or spooky and adding to her collection of dolls, magnets and cups. Their favorite part of writing/editing is giving others a chance to share their story or achieve their dreams and offering insight on "the little things." Some of Kaitlin's favorite topics reflect on their personal life, including health/disabilities, fringe topics and social issues.
Wilfrid Laurier University Alumna - BA Honours History & Minor in Sociology and Religion and Culture. York University B.Ed. Her Campus York U Campus Correspondent/ HSA Advisor/ Chapter Advisor.  When I'm not leading the team, advising, or writing you'll find me watching any and every reality T.V show or re-runs of Friends and Gilmore Girls. Semi-classy wine lady who thinks pineapple on pizza is a crime.