There are so many elements in pop culture that talk about changing ourselves, and constantly improving ourselves for the better. While I do understand the appeal of it, I think that this can get toxic when we don’t take the time to think about it.
First of all, this article is not against self improvement or reflection. I am a person who is constantly reflective, constantly trying to do better in whatever I do, and I like doing that. But over the years, I have noticed so many people constantly talking about their “self improvement” journey; and more often than not, it seems like they follow someone else’s ideas of what’s good for them. Most of the time, we are motivated by watching other people go on this journey of self improvement, rather than finding out what makes us truly happy.
While it is true that society doesn’t ‘make’ us do anything, we live in a world where we think we are constantly being watched, even when we aren’t. This “panopticon” notion of society, as studied by many philosophers, is responsible for many of the ways we carry ourselves; if we think we are being watched, we are hyper aware of how we portray ourselves to the world.
There are many philosophers that have studied this. One philosophy I find particularly interesting is the one given by Byung Chul-Han. According to Byung Chul-Han, a Korean born German philosopher, modern society manages to keep us in check by a term he called “smart power.” This form of power is not disciplinary, or authoritarian. It doesn’t show us what we should do, but rather shows us what we can do.
This means that in today’s world, where everything is so achievement oriented, it’s easy to make people feel like they have fallen behind. According to Han, there is no need for anyone to surveil people anymore, because we have started surveilling ourselves. We keep track of our productivity, our health, our mental state, in our phones, and we can constantly check the progress we have made. Han is quoted to have said, “Confession that was obtained by force has been replaced by voluntary disclosure”; instead of persuading us to do anything, the culture today promises to give us freedom and whatever we want. Additionally, because of the widespread use of this digital technology, individuals have perpetually taken on the role of this “auto-surveillance” on themselves.
This perception is slowly ingrained in us; it makes us think that we are a project, a work in progress, and there is always work to be done. And while this is good to a certain extent, if we are not aware of these tendencies, it can easily lead to things like burnout and depression. If we don’t recognize these stressors, it can lead to us trying to get better forever. This compulsive need to be better all the time, and work on ourselves like a project, can eventually take over our lives. In his work, Han warns us of this by talking about how digital technology has almost “reprogrammed us”; it has desensitized us to the notions of constant productivity and efficiency. According to him, we “exploit” ourselves constantly, in the promise of self realization that society seems to promise us.
Overall, this rat race to constantly be the best version of ourselves can lead to a culturally induced obsession with ourselves. We become obsessed with presenting ourselves as a version of the “finished project” we call ourselves and it slowly starts to exhaust us. This constant self exploitation, as mentioned before, can lead to burnout.
There are many scholars who think that this burnout is not the failure of the person, but a symptom of this kind of achievement oriented society. It stems from us constantly trying to measure up to these standards we hold ourselves to.
This is not to say that I think self improvement is inherently toxic; but I think it is worthwhile to pay close attention when this process becomes a cycle of tiredness and exhaustion. At the end of the day, we try to improve ourselves to try to figure out who we are, and what we want. But sometimes, it can be hard to figure out the difference between what we are supposed to want, and what we actually want, because we get so many messages from the culture around us telling us what we should expect to have or do.
In order for us to truly improve or understand ourselves, it can help to actively listen and engage in activities that make us feel good, by focussing on what makes us feel good in the moment. Engaging with this spontaneity can help us forget these systems of thinking and the constant race towards self perfection.