In the midst of surviving senioritis, applying for scholarships, and anxiously awaiting my high school graduation, I made the decision live at home and commute to campus my freshman year of college. Many of the adults in my life did not approve, worried that my shy nature and introverted tendencies would diminish my time in college. But while my choice garnered plenty of concerns, I still managed to create a positive environment and beneficial experience for myself. The personal conflict helped improve my confidence and prioritize my own preferences over others. I learned to manage my schedule, escape my comfort zone, and honestly enjoy my first two semesters, regardless of everyone’s preconceptions.
Despite my eventual success though, I still endured plenty of trials and tribulations, although they sometimes differed from others. Here are five tips to help you as a first year commuter:
- Join Something Outside of your classes
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As a commuter, this is probably the most common and important piece of advice you will receive during your first few weeks of college. Whether you choose to join the campus poetry circle or compete for the club rugby team, find something to keep you on campus. Not only are clubs and organizations a great way to build consistent relationships, but they can help balance your course load and expand your perception of campus. Comparing your experience with other first year members or learning to navigate campus from older participants can help you find support in an unfamiliar environment.
- Expect a different relationship with your Family
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For most people, commuting to college means living with your parents. While you might be a legal adult with your own schedule and responsibilities, you are still sleeping in your high school bedroom underneath someone else’s roof. If your parents are anything like mine, this can still mean adhering to chore lists, limited space, and restrictive curfews, despite the newfound freedom of your peers living on their own. These challenges can even continue when your course work, job schedule, and new friendships impact the time you see your family and hours you spend at home. However, you new lifestyle does not have to spoil your household dynamic. Through open discussions, honest communication, and mutual respect, you can enjoy your life on campus and your life at home. Be willing to compromise when needed, help out around the house, and stand up for the things you believe are important.
- Pack a lunch (but don’t always eat it)
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On a typical week day, I spend about eight to ten hours on campus. This means that I often pack a bag with plenty of snacks, drinks, and proteins to get me through the day. Food can get expensive very quick, especially when you don’t have a meal plan or dining hall privileges like students in the dorms, however, there are times when its worth buying a lunch. During my first few weeks on campus, some of the first outings I did with college friends were grabbing lunch after class or hanging out in the coffee shop to study for an exam. Even when I did bring my own lunch from home on those days, I opted to save it for later and engage with my classmates. Providing an easy location and shared experience, buying food on campus helped me build relationships and establish bonds throughout the semester, while packing a lunch helped reduce my spending.
- reach out, make plans
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The biggest obstacle I faced when trying to build connections on campus was hesitation. In the end, however, everyone around me felt the same way. Offer to study with the kid who sits next to you in class when discussing an upcoming exam. Invite your coworker to grab a coffee before your shift. Ask a fellow commuter to go catch a movie away from campus. When planning your next class schedule, match up with current friends if possible to maintain your relationship. Make a group chat with your lab partner to discuss due dates. These examples are the best ways to develop friendships outside of the classroom and help them transfer semester to semester. While your friendships might not seem instant or life long, you’ll be surprised at the positive influence they can have on your college experience.
- Be patient
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While it’s true you can still have an engaging freshman year as a commuter, it may not develop at the same pace as others’. Remember to try new experiences and exploring your interests; search for one to two events to attend a week until you find your groove! It wasn’t until the end of my first semester that I realized I actually had built relationships between my classmates, campus coworkers, and fellow club members. They just didn’t look the way I originally pictured them. Creating a support system on campus can be challenging, but you’re not alone. Feelings of loneliness and isolation are common among commuting students, but can be great ways to connect. Take things day by day and resist the urge to rush through your experience; good things take good time.
While it may have differed from my friends or classmates living on campus, my experience as a first year commuter has highly impacted my personal and academic advancements. I have learned to accept change, embrace my intuition, and welcome the pace of time as the year moved on. I have learned to proudly follow my own path and ignore the well meaning concerns of others. Most importantly though, just like everyone else does, I have learned how to grow.