What to Wear to a Wedding (& What Not to Wear)

As we collegiettes continue the march to graduation and the somewhat involuntary conveyor belt ride to adulthood, weddings are no longer just something you pin onto Pinterest; they are a reality. More and more of our friends plan their trips down the aisle and we’ll start receiving more and more thick cream-colored invitations in the mail. As much fun as they are, weddings bring with them an inevitable hitch (pun intended): figuring out what to wear. A collegiette can dress for a girls’ night out, a date event, or a sorority formal without batting an eyelash, but weddings are a different story. The same rules and dress codes don’t apply, and you may feel a little out of your element when choosing the perfect outfit. So, rather than leave you to decipher the exact meaning of “black-tie optional” or the difference between cocktail attire and semi-formal, we’ve broken down the wedding guest attire basics below!

Rule #1: Don’t Wear White

Unless you’ve been invited to Kim Kardashian’s wedding, or your name is Pippa Middleton, do not wear
white to a wedding. And before you get any ideas, this includes cream and ivory. It is usually safe to assume that the bride will be wearing white, and if you show up in your on-trend ‘60s inspired white lacy cocktail dress, be prepared to deal with some relatively dirty looks from the bride and her loyal bridal party.

Independent Boston-based stylist Elizabeth Kamm advises, “If you like the idea of wearing a really light color to show off your tan for instance, pale yellow or pale pink is a great idea and looks really pretty for a summer wedding.” And what if this particular soiree is in the fall? “Incorporating white by wearing a white or cream wrap will look great with a richly-toned dress.”

Rule #2: Stay Classy

There are few things worse than someone at a wedding who looks like they’re supposed to be at a club. Don’t get us wrong – we love a good bandage skirt and crop top as much as the next collegiette – but there is a right time and a wrong time for every look. Consider the fact that the bride’s entire family, including an elderly uncle or two, will be in attendance; you won’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. As a general rule, Kamm advises that collegiettes find a good balance. “If your dress plunges a little in the front, its hem should fall to your knee or longer. If your dress hits you above your knee and hugs your curves a little, the top of your dress better have a high neck line, or even long sleeves.”

Kamm says to keep things modest that “cardigans can be appropriate to wear, as long as the color, fabric, and cut make sense.” She warns, however, “the cardigan should be fitted, and not too slouchy or long as to not overwhelm or interrupt the flow of the dress line.” To really set yourself apart, Kamm says, “button the cardigan partially and ruche the sleeves when it starts to get chilly, and you’ll look instantly chic.”

For collegiettes attending a wedding in a church, Kamm says, “you are free to wear sleeveless or strapless [dresses] to ceremonies held in churches, but should always have that cardigan, or wrap, or fitted jacket to cover your arms, shoulders, and décolletage.”

Wearing something super low-cut or tight will not only attract all the wrong attention, but it will take focus off of what the bride is wearing, and put focus on what you’re, ahem, not wearing. “Save the tight, super short dress for girls’ night on the town. Show a little, cover the rest,” says Kamm. We agree – your outfit should get the attention of the cute and single brother of the groom, not the entire room.

Rule #3: It’s All About The Accessories

A wedding is probably not the best place to break out your new distressed leather belt and matching bag – although we’re sure they’re both super cute. Your accessories can make or break an outfit, and when you’re going to a wedding, less is always more. “You should never carry to a wedding the handbag you carry every day,” says Kamm. While every collegiette has their favorite go-to shoulder bag, Kamm warns, “It looks so conspicuously mismatched to wear your bulky black leather shoulder bag with you at a wedding.” But where to put your cell phone, lip gloss, gum, extra hair ties, and all of the other accoutrements we usually keep in our Mary Poppins-inspired bags? Ditch your favorite hobo bag for one night, and try what Kamm suggests, “a perfect little clutch in a coordinating color, or a tiny bag with a glint of gold shoulder chain to accent your dress.”

Let’s not forget shoes – a topic every collegiette loves. As Kamm reminds us, “shoes are what pulls, or does not pull your entire look together.” Depending upon the season and the wedding’s dress code, heels or formal strappy sandals are the way to go.
“Strappy sandals are an absolute yes for summer and early fall weddings,” Kamm says, “but once the weather starts to cool, it is time to put away your strappy heels and anything that reveals your toes.” If you’re looking for a spicier shoe than just a regular pair of black pumps, go with the cutout toe, Kamm suggests. “Cut-out toe can be worn in the fall and winter,” she says, “as cut-out toe is a design feature, not a seasonal style.”

Morgan, a senior at the University of Chicago, says, “I love wearing strappy wedges to weddings, especially in the summer. I get the cool look of the open toe to show off my great pedicure, and extra height of the heel, without feeling like I’m going to fall over all night. It’s a win-win.”

Really, though, you should wear shoes you’re comfortable wearing. We’ve all seen a girl or two wobbling around in sky-high heels she’s not used to. While this look is commonplace at the frat house on Saturday night, it’s not quite as charming at a formal wedding.
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Dress Code Decoding with Elizabeth Kamm

Black-Tie or White-Tie: “Black-Tie or White-Tie weddings request a formal dress code. For the ladies, Black-Tie and White-Tie weddings call for the crème de la crème of formal dresses. This is the opportunity for your own red carpet moment. I do suggest taking notes from your favorite celebs on the red carpet for silhouette, color, and fabric ideas.”

Cocktail Attire: “Cocktail Wedding attire calls for a cocktail dress. This is a dressier, evening wedding with no direct instructions for what exactly to wear, so anything special, and more dressed up than you usually would wear is appropriate. Pay attention to the season; if it’s a fall wedding, no floral prints, bright candy colors, or gauzy fabrics. They should be reserved for summer weddings.”

Beach Attire: “Beach weddings are easy. They are casual and fun, and you’re on vacation! Flowy and sheer fabrics are spring and summer fabrics. It’s really about comfort.”

General Rules

We’ve told you what you can’t wear, and hopefully that doesn’t void everything in your closet. “You don’t need to necessarily buy a new dress just for the wedding,” Kamm acknowledges, “but your dresses should be occasion-specific.” Check out sites like Rent The Runway – they can not only give you inspiration for wedding guest attire, but you can also rent from their collection to be sure that you look fabulous without breaking the bank.

“Usually,” Kamm says, “you can get a sense of what the general feel of the wedding is by the Save the Date or the invitation itself. You will know where the wedding will take place, the time of the wedding, and the general vibe that it will have.”

Stephanie, a sophomore at Brigham Young University, has found herself stumped for what to wear on many occasions, but has found a quick-fix. “I just call my friends who are also attending the same wedding and see what they’re wearing.” “Chances are,” Stephanie says, “we’ll all get it right if we collaborate. In any case, if we’re totally overdressed or underdressed, at least we’re doing it together.”

We appreciate Stephanie’s enthusiasm, and the sentiment of her statement rings true. Kamm says, “you will need to do your research,” and suggests “asking around to other fellow guests so you can be sure you won’t miss the mark in terms of wearing something appropriate.”

All in all, unless Taylor Swift is invited, weddings are supposed to be fun. So whatever you wear, be sure to bring along your best-looking confidence and your chicest dance moves, and you’ll be aces all around.

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