It doesn’t matter if you’re a virgin or more experienced in the sheets—everyone has questions about doing the deed. While you’ll never be able to reenact the kind of steamy hookup scenes you see on Gossip Girl or Riverdale, you’ve probably had a few of these thoughts, and more, about getting down and dirty.

1. What’s with the positions having such weird names?

Reverse Cowgirl should be a restaurant that sells healthy cheese fries, not something you do to another human.

2. How do people manage to do it while standing up?

You’d rather be naughty in bed…where you can conveniently fall asleep right after.

3. Is shower sex really as hot as people make it look on TV?

You can barely shower alone without slipping.

4. Is it normal to prefer staying in and masturbating, instead of going out and socializing?

Of course it is. Sexing yourself saves money and doesn’t require you to put on pants. It’s a win-win.

5. Why do people make sex on the first date such a big deal?

If you can share your platter of shrimp tacos, you can share a night in together NBD.

6. How do you muster up the energy and willpower to 69?

The only way you can multi-task is by eating, tweeting and watching The Bachelor simultaneously.

7. Why is anal even a thing?

Who decided that it’d be a fun idea to enter the back door that releases all the crap you eat on a daily basis?

8. What are you supposed to do during oral?

Giggle? Squirm? Spread your legs like a starfish?

9. Who decided it was sexy to bite and twist nipples?

Nothing against BDSM, but that is 50 shades of way too painful.

10. If the bed doesn’t squeak, does that mean you aren’t thrusting hard enough?

You’re not in good enough shape for this!

11. Should you alternate between kissing and humping, or do it at the same time?

This will get super sweaty instead of super sexy, real fast.

12. What’s the normal volume for moaning?

Last time you screamed so loud, your roommates thought you were waxing your bikini line.

13. How are you supposed to easily transition into new positions?

If you move too fast, you might end up farting or something.

14. Are you supposed to clean yourself afterwards?

You have boxes of tissues reserved to crying, and…well, you know.

15. Is it normal to fantasize about sex during the most random, inappropriate times?

Getting milk at the grocery store turns into imagining a rendezvous on top of a stack of Bounty towels.

16. How do you manage a threesome?

You can’t even be bothered to share your food with people, much less your SO with someone else.

17. What’s with the obsession over sexy lingerie, if you’re just going to end up naked?

It’s getting hot in here! So keep off all your clothes!

17 Questions Every Girl Has About Sex At One Point or Another