“Girl talk” is code for a top secret discussion kept among ladies and ladies alone. But how much do we really keep from the men in our lives? Collegiettes, we’ve devised a list of a few subjects we girls keep on the DL. Because there are some things that men just don’t understand—never have; never will. Why waste the energy trying to explain?
You don’t tell him…
1. How long you actually took getting ready for that date.
Guys know that women tend to take a little longer to freshen up, but they may not quite know the extent of it.
“I never tell a guy how long it actually takes me to get ready for dates,” says Annie Blanks, a senior at Sewanee. “I like to make him think my hair just naturally fell into that perfect blowout.”
Ladies, if you’ve taken more than an hour to get beautified for your date, there’s no reason he needs to know about it. The fact that you took 120 minutes just to spiral curl your tresses is NBD to us ladies, but men would be shocked to find that out (in that amount of time, they could hit the gym, shower and scarf down three Big Macs. Charming, right?). Some things are better left unsaid.
2. The details of your, um, menstruation.
To put it plainly, your dude does not want to know the particulars of your time of the month.
“I never talk to men about my period,” says Briana Morgan, a recent graduate of Georgia College & State University. “Unless I need an excuse to get out of something.”
Call them crazy, but most guys don’t like discussing the idea of a woman shedding the lining of her uterus. Refraining from the details is definitely not a bad idea. Besides, you have much better things to talk about with your guy—like what you want him to get you for your next anniversary (is a $100 Forever 21 gift card aiming too high?).
3. How much you’ve stalked him on social media.
You check his Facebook at least once a day, you know, just to make sure he’s still into you. Perfectly reasonable, right?
“I would never want to a guy to know that I’ve creeped [on] his Facebook so much, I know his parents’ names,” says Taylor McCollom, a senior at Central Michigan University.
And probably better that he doesn’t find out. Collegiettes, keeping your super sleuthing to yourself is a smooth move. After all, you don’t want to give your guy the impression that you’re a stalker, because you’re totally not. Every woman has to keep virtual tabs on her man, right? It’s a perfectly harmless way to make sure he’s staying faithful (oh no he did not like that girl’s profile picture). And if he ever happens to catch you creepin’, just blame it on hormones: “My period makes me do crazy things!” He’ll shut up immediately (see number two).
4. When other guys hit on you.
So other guys have been giving you attention lately—but not telling your boyfriend about it is smart.
“One thing that I never tell guys, especially if I am in a relationship with a guy, is if another guy hit on me,” says Meghean Gibbons, a recent graduate of Boston University.
You don’t want to hear about the ladies that ogle your man, and he doesn’t want to hear about the guys who gawk at you, especially if your suitors happen to be handsome, hilarious, hunky or any other positive “h” adjective you can think of. Besides, his jealous face is not his cutest look (the green-eyed monster has never been one for beauty contests). Probably best to save the details for your besties. They’ll want to hear all about the hottie who was begging you for your number. Poor chap.
5. How much time you spend worrying about the texts you send to him.
Texting a new love interest is usually kind of stressful (even though it probably shouldn’t be).
“I would never want a guy to know how much time I spend contemplating if I should text him first, or how fast I should text back or what I should even say at all,” says Stephanie Ralls, a junior at Central Michigan University.
We collegiettes tend to think that one extra exclamation mark will make or break a relationship. It’s probably preposterous, but even if you can’t seem to stop stressing about your texts, it might be a good thing that your potential man doesn’t know how frazzled you are. After all, your lengthy deliberations (“Is a winky emoji overkill? Should I wait five more minutes to send it?? Guys, what do you think?!”) are ridiculous but totally normal. We all do it, and maybe even men do, too.
Guys may think they know everything when it comes to us girls, but they’d be surprised at what we’ll never reveal! What else would you never tell a guy? Tell us in the comments below (we promise we’re good at keeping secrets)!