So you met a total babe at a party. He’s got a cheeky grin, killer abs and the type of charm Chris Pratt possesses. Best of all? He’s been totally into you ever since you met at a recent frat party: You’ve gotten a fabulous “good morning” text, a bunch of adorable compliments and a few inquiries about the next hangout (makeout?) sesh. But did he just like your kissing skills, or does he want something more? Here’s how to tell he’s a keeper during the party and afterward.
At the party
He wants to know more about you
If he’s totally into himself (i.e., he’s playing beer pong with his frat bros and ignoring you), this dude may not be Mr. Right.
On the other hand, if he does display a real interest in hearing what you’re about, such as asking about your major, extracurriculars and other interests, this guy may be into you. After all, don’t you want to know all about a potential love interest?
He understands if you don’t want to sleep with him
Jerk alert: He pressures you to have sex with him. If you’re not ready, say “no” and hightail it out of there.
“I think the difference between a nice guy and a one-night stand is the nice guy will understand when you don’t want to spend the night with him,” says Rachel*, a student at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. “The one-night stand will say something like, ‘Aw c’mon, you know you wanna…’”
But if he’s completely understanding of your hesitation (and there’s absolutely no shame there, collegiettes), congrats! You’ve met someone with the type of qualities every guy should possess.
He makes sure you get home okay
The festivities died down, his frat bros are already sleeping on the living room floor with permanent marker drawn all over their faces and the place reeks of vodka and sweat. This is the moment that can clue you in that he’s a keeper: He offers to walk you home or ensures that you get home okay.
According to Jen*, a junior at the University of California, Los Angeles, this means he’s a nice guy. She met one of her boyfriends at a party and she knew he wasn’t looking for a one-night stand when he made sure she got home okay. It’s a strong indicator of a good guy who cares — especially because it’s never safe for a woman to walk home alone in the middle of the night!
Immediately after the party
He’s interested in going on a real date
If he’s not all, “Come back over to my house, baby [winky-face],” you may be on to something.
“[He may be nice if] he actually calls you the next day or shortly thereafter and invites you to go out on something that resembles a real date, like a movie,” says dating coach and speaker Sandra Fidelis.
He wants to take you out for brunch at your town diner. He asks you to see that latest rom-com with Daniel Radcliffe being all adorable (we’re already swooning). He wants to go for a walk around campus together. While he may just be trying to charm your pants off, he could actually be in it for the long haul.
Definitely give the date a go and try to catch his vibe. Is he laying on the charm so thick you know it’s fake? You can tell he’s a phony if he laughs way too loud, touches you a little too often and compliments you excessively. Or does he come off as genuine? He’s probably sincere if he listens to what you’re saying, asks follow-up questions and isn’t afraid to be a gentleman. If the latter is the case, he’s worth a second date.
He wants to meet your friends (and he wants you to meet his, too)
You’ve gone on that first date and he seemed like a good guy (so far). Now, he says he wants to meet the people you’re close with, and he wants to introduce you to his posse as well.
“[He may be nice if] he’s interested in meeting and hanging out with you and your friends and invites you to hang out with his as well,” Fidelis says.
It’s totally worth bringing your girls to meet him because they can give you their insights on this dude, too. Your friends have a way of knowing whether the guy you’re into is a bad egg or a catch.
And don’t be afraid to meet his friends, too! If he hangs around guys who seem kind of tool-ish, you’ve got reason to question him. But if he’s got some cool bros, then hey, things are looking up!
He offers to help you out when you need it
The dates have been stellar, your girl friends think he’s fantastic, his friends were nice and now you’re really falling for this frat boy. Bonus if he offers to help you in a time of need.
“[He may be nice if] he offers to help you with something, [like] getting your oil changed or helping you study for a subject he really likes,” Fidelis says. “If he’s really interested, he’ll want to show you that your connection goes beyond the frat house.”
Your car broke down a couple miles off of campus and you feel pretty screwed — until he offers to come rescue you (aww). You’re seriously struggling with your environmental science homework, so he suggests a study sesh in the library because he passed the class last semester. You need help carrying something heavy up to your dorm room, and he’s there waiting with strong arms. Another thumbs up — looks like this guy is doing everything to prove to you that you’re worth it to him.
It’s never easy to find a great guy in a world full of college boys who are just looking to get laid. As difficult as they are to find, though, good college guys do exist — and if you’ve experienced these things with your latest cutie, chances are you’ve got a real keeper on your hands.
*Names have been changed.