You know how it seems like every college girl you know loves Sex and the City? Chances are that you’ve watched it yourself, and that you have girlfriends who own some of the seasons on DVD, or who have that infamous poster in their dorm room, or who have SATC quotes on their Facebook pages. We love it primarily because it’s hilarious, but also because the girls talk about sex and relationships in a way that we can directly relate to.
For guys, this universally-loved show is Entourage. In case you’ve never seen it, the HBO series about Vince (played by the adorable Adrian Grenier), a fictional popular actor, and his cohort of friends – his careful manager Eric (affectionately called “E”), his older brother and less successful actor Johnny (“Drama”), his friend and driver “Turtle,” and his high-strung agent Ari. The show follows the group as they party it up in Hollywood, featuring all the sex and hilarity of SATC for a primarily male audience. While the guys usually prefer having short-term flings or casual sex with women, all of them have girlfriends at some point – and the way that the series depicts relationships can give us a lot of insight into what guys are looking for. Read on for the 8 major love lessons we all can learn from Entourage.
1. Be a Sloan, not a Kristen.
For many guys who watch Entourage, Eric’s on-and-off girlfriend Sloan (played by the stunning Emmanuelle Chriqui) is the perfect woman. She’s charming and has an affectionate relationship with E when they’re alone, but she’s also down-to-earth enough to chill out with the guys at a sports bar. Better yet, she has a life outside of the relationship and doesn’t freak out if an important meeting pops up for Eric or if he wants to hang out solo with his friends. (Also, did I mention that she’s gorgeous?) When they’re not together, Sloan maintains a friendly but distant relationship with him, engaging in pleasant conversation when they run into each other but avoiding phone calls and planned contact.
This is a stark contrast from Kristen, Eric’s college-girl love interest from earlier seasons. Not only is she relatively clingy, but she also makes fun of E for living with his friends and having a close relationship with Vince. As a psychology major, she constantly tries to analyze Eric’s behavior, and she’s famous for playing games with him after they break up, like offering breakup sex or calling him when she hears he’s dating again. Ultimately, she cheats on E when he goes away for a film shooting with Vince.
Unsurprisingly, Eric’s friends don’t like Kristen and encourage him to dump her – but even when they’re not dating, the guys respect Sloan and never talk trash about her. So in your relationships (and in your breakups), aim to be easygoing like Sloan– don’t try to alienate your guy’s friends or give them a reason to dislike you.
2. Communicating too much can ruin relationships.
When the guys go to the Cannes Film Festival for one of Vince’s movie premieres, Johnny Drama finds that reruns of his former TV show are seriously popular in France, and hot girls are flocking to him. He falls for one of them, Jacqueline, and they decide to pursue a long-distance relationship when he returns home. The couple maintains constant communication, Skyping and talking on the phone for the majority of their waking hours. Drama blows off the guys to talk with her, and while the guys like Jacqueline, they start to resent her for taking up so much of Drama’s time. One night when Jacqueline doesn’t pick up her phone, Drama calls her incessantly and suspects that she’s with another man when she doesn’t pick up. The real story? Her roommate was in a car accident, and she had to rush her to the hospital. Jacqueline dumped him for being too into her, and Drama didn’t know what to do with his newfound free time.
If you’ve ever been in a long-distance relationship, you know that things like Skype and phone calls can be valuable lifelines, but don’t let them consume your entire life. Likewise, if you just had lunch with your boyfriend, don’t text him 5 times on your way home – constant communication can be annoying, and both parties involved can be considered clingy. Plus, if you’re not out living your life, what stories will you have to tell your man when you do talk?
3. Try not to kiss and tell.
When the guys let Turtle take a first-class seat on a flight, he finds himself sitting next to Jamie-Lynn Sigler (the real actress that plays Meadow on The Sopranos, another guy favorite). She’s just broken up with her boyfriend, but Turtle makes her laugh and they seem to hit it off – she even gives him her number after they land. But the guys don’t believe Turtle when he says there was a spark, and they accuse him of lying or begging Jamie-Lynn to give her a fake number to impress them. Feeling defensive, Turtle lets the guys in on a secret – she gave him a hand job during the flight. The guys think this is impossibly hilarious and ask everyone from random waiters to Ari’s staff members if they believe the story. Later that week, Turtle sees Jamie at a club and she throws a drink in his face, calling him a jerk for telling everyone about it.
Now, things ended up working out with Jamie and Turtle, but only after Turtle explained the misunderstanding and proved he was trustworthy by secretly dating her for weeks. I’m not suggesting that you should hide your relationships from the world, but you don’t need to give your friends a play-by-play of your sexcapades or every cute thing your guy did at dinner last night. It’s important to respect the person you’re interested in and be discreet when discussing your relationships – additionally, keeping some secrets with your guy can make your bond more intimate.
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4. Beware of mixing work and pleasure.
There might be more workplace relationships in Entourage than on The Office – Vince has a rift with Ari and hooks up with his new (female) agent Amanda, E briefly pursues Ari’s assistant Emily, and Ari’s business partner Andrew gets busted having an affair with Lizzie, a sexy 20-something at the agency. The common theme among these subplots? Office romances can lead to problems, especially when there’s a power difference between the partners. Vince thinks Amanda’s aggressiveness is really hot, but he has a hard time taking her seriously as an agent after they have sex. Emily breaks up with Eric because his friendship with her boss makes her uncomfortable, and Ari later fires her and warns E to stay away from his employees. And when Andrew’s wife finds out about the affair, it causes a crisis at the agency and both he and Lizzie come very close to losing their jobs.
Relationships with your coworkers can be SO tempting, but situations on Entourage show that it’s best to avoid them – especially when you’re in a different power position than your flame.
5. Hot and heavy relationships can end as quickly as they begin.
When Mandy Moore is cast as Vince’s love interest in his new movie Aquaman, it comes out that the two had been in a pretty intense relationship when they were younger. While Vince and Mandy remember things differently, they both acknowledged that he had proposed to her after several weeks, which scared Mandy off and left Vince heartbroken. Even when he learns that Mandy is now engaged, Vince insists that he can maintain a professional relationship on the set – but old feelings come back quickly and Mandy breaks things off with her fiancée, embarking on a whirlwind relationship with Vince. The two spend all of their time together, missing important appointments for the film and annoying the heck out of everyone around them with their constant PDA. For her birthday, Vince gives her an expensive piece of artwork, despite the fact that they’ve only been dating for a couple weeks. Shortly after, the guys see Mandy out with her ex-fiancée, and she tells Vince that she’s changed her mind.
The message here? Understand that a whirlwind relationship has increased potential to blow up in your face and try to prepare yourself for some heartache – and definitely don’t buy an expensive gift for someone you haven’t been dating for very long!
6. Bad decisions you make now can follow you later in life.
While Ari is married and surprisingly faithful to his former actress/model wife (known only as Mrs. Ari), he often talks about his previous sexual encounters and tries to exploit them for personal gain. Most significantly, Ari takes advantage of a previous fling with Dana Gordon, a studio executive, by threatening to publish a sex tape they had made if she didn’t help him get Vince a job. He also saved an inappropriate picture given to him by a former mailroom employee, and he sent it to her boyfriend when the two engaged in a prank war.
Now, Ari is clearly a jerk, and I’d like to think that most guys would have more respect for previous relationships. But what if a guy didn’t? Like Ari’s former flings, you could be haunted by compromising evidence for the rest of your life, and you would be at the mercy of whoever has the information. The easiest way to avoid being in a situation like this is to not give anyone something that they could use against you later, just in case your current Mr. Perfect ends up being like Mr. Ari.
7. Don’t invade his space.
Eric – the only one of the guys that usually aims for relationships – finds himself on a hot streak of one-night stands during Season 6. He starts to feel a connection with Ashley, a young clothing store manager, but he starts to get turned off by her invasive behavior. After she hints that she’d like to go to one of Vince’s movie premieres, Eric admits that he already has a date (the lovely Sloan), but Ashley finds a ticket and shows up anyway, catching E off-guard. She apologizes and they rekindle their relationship, but she proceeds to stay at his place for hours after he leaves for work, listen to his voicemails, and give him unsolicited advice about his job. When she learns that E’s been talking to Sloan, she asks to go through his email to see if he’s trustworthy. These invasions of privacy make Eric uncomfortable, and the guys advise him to end things.
While some of these behaviors might not seem so bad on their own – I’m sure many of us have gone through a guy’s phone or “happened to show up” where we knew our guy would be – they make Ashley look like a total clinger when taken together. Think about how you’d feel if a guy wanted to go through your email or stayed at your place while you weren’t home – you’d start to think he was a psycho, right? So let a guy have his personal space and try to avoid any of this invasive behavior; it will make you seem much more easygoing.
8. At least in the beginning, your guy’s friends should come first.
In general, Entourage is all about male friendship and guys sticking together – an adult representation of “bros before hos,” if you will. It’s natural for a girl to want to come first in her boyfriend’s life, but she should expect a guy’s friends to be his top priority for awhile. Vince and the guys (with the exception of Ari) have been friends since they were kids, while the girls in their lives have come and gone. So the girls that they date have to understand that the guys come first, since they’ve been around much longer and have proven their loyalty over time. This can obviously cause contention with their girlfriends – Eric and Sloan initially broke up when he decided to take a spontaneous trip to Italy with the guys when she had expected him to come home – but we as girls should try to be as understanding as possible when it comes to a bromance. Again, think of this phenomenon in reverse – would you blow off an important event with a girlfriend for a guy you haven’t been seeing for very long? Probably not.
The key part of this lesson, however, is that over time, you should eventually assume a position of greater or equal importance with a guy’s friends. As a relationship gets more serious, the right guy will make you more of a priority and put you on an equal playing field with his boys. After Sloan left him, Eric had to prove to her that he would be more invested in their relationship, which he did by – Spoiler Alert! – proposing to her. (Awww!) Now, a guy doesn’t necessarily have to give you a ring to show you that he’s serious, but he should start to value time with you as much as time with the guys. At the very least, he shouldn’t decide to spend a month in Italy with his bros without telling you.
Do you watch Entourage? Have you learned any other love lessons from the show? Or what shows do you think teach valuable love lessons? Leave a comment below and let us know!