Valentine’s Day approaches yet again, so out come the endless trail of roses and anything in the shape of a heart. We’re one stuffed animal away from cringing at the mere thought of it all, so here’s to nine things we can’t stand to see any longer on Valentine’s Day.
1. Heart-shaped boxes of assorted chocolates
As if the only way to celebrate V-day is with an expensive box of chocolates. That same $50 box that will be sold at 75 percent off the next day. So not worth it!
2. Overpriced red roses
Red roses? For Valentine’s Day? Groundbreaking.
3. Page-long, cheesy Facebook posts
Oh, how we just love seeing essays on social media about how your SO couldn’t be more perfect!
4. And the Facebook posts about how great the single life is
No need to justify your single status so overbearingly just to prove you’re happy being valentine-less on V-Day…
5. Gigantic stuffed teddy bears
Seriously, how can you carry that around all day, and where is it going to fit in a cramped dorm room?
6. “Roses are red, violets are blue…” cards and poems
The most overdone rhyme in V-Day history.
7. The Notebook (well, make that any gushy love story)
We don’t need a reminder of this sort of nonexistent perfection on the one day dedicated to couples.
8. Little candy hearts
Does anyone actually think these taste good?
9. The down-in-the-dumps single people
We’re tired of seeing the singles loathing themselves and V-Day just because they’re SO-less today of all days. Since when did awesome, loving friends become less important than having a date?