As we get older and start to experience more of what life has to offer, we also come to the realization that some things are just inevitable: Spilling your coffee on your favorite shirt before you get to work, confidently saying “You too!” after your waitress tells you to enjoy your meal, or even going up to the hottest person in the bar only to get rejected. There are times in life when you’re reminded that you’re simply just human, and sometimes, it may require a laugh or chuckle even when you feel defeated. One thing a majority of people can relate to experiencing is the good ol’ awkward, first-time queer hookup.
Gen Z isn’t new to discussing the dirty details. Thanks to social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter/X, the conversation around sex and hookups has become much more normalized over the past decade. And, thanks to the plethora of queer-advocating movements and the increase in coming-out stories shared from people across the globe, the discussion around hookup culture has expanded exponentially to include the perspectives and experiences of those in the LGBTQIA+ community.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of: a majority of people have an awkward first-time hookup story, and I spoke to five Gen Zers who were brave enough to share their awkward, but hilarious, first-time queer experiences.
*Names have been changed for privacy purposes. Interviews have been edited for clarity and length.
Julia*, 21: “We sat there, staring at each other, for like, a solid five minutes.”
“This girl and I met on Hinge and went on a date. The date went really well, so we went back to my apartment to hang out and see where things would go. One thing led to another, we made out, and it was amazing. Like, for a solid hour, we were just kissing and listening to music. We decided to take it further, so we got undressed, and sat back down on my bed.
For a minute it felt nice that things were slowing down and we felt more present together. But then… it just got awkward, fast. Neither of us wanted to make the first move, and I think it’s because we both knew it was each other’s first time with another woman. We sat there, staring at each other, for like, a solid five minutes. We ended up hooking up after this awkward moment, and everything was fine. We laughed about it a few days later over FaceTime, but those first 5 minutes really stuck with me.”
Giselle*, 20: “The morning after, I reached out, and she pretended I didn’t exist. “
“My first-time queer hookup story actually wasn’t all that awkward… at the time. I enjoyed myself and I thought she had, too. The morning after, I reached out, and she pretended I didn’t exist. Then she ended up just completely ghosting me. She never reached out to me and we never saw each other again.”
Trevor*, 22: “I was sweating so bad from being nervous that he literally got a towel and wiped me off.”
“My friends and I went out to a few bars after we graduated. While we were out, I met this guy who is the epitome of my type. To a T. We talked for hours, and we ended up breaking away from my friends when the bars started to close. We decided to go back to my apartment.
For a few hours, we just kissed, watched music videos, and flirted… heavily. I was so excited and so nervous. Listen, I’m a sweaty person — it doesn’t take much for me to start sweating — so at this point, I was sweaty enough to have to go back and forth to the bathroom and wipe myself off before he could notice. I sweat when I’m nervous like most people do! It was just the worst time for it to happen.
It got so much worse when we moved to my room, talked about having sex, and got undressed. Everything started happening so fast that I didn’t have time to go to the bathroom. I was pooling with sweat at this point, and while we were making out, naked, he literally could feel the heat emitting from my body. I was sweating so badly from being nervous that he literally got up, grabbed a towel, and wiped me off. I was stunned, mostly from how mortified I felt. Looking back, it’s sweet that he did that for me without hesitating. But it was so embarrassing at the time. It still hurts to think about.”
Claudia*, 20: “We bumped heads and had to stop what we were doing because we were both in so much pain.”
“I started talking to this girl who has mutual friends of mine. I went over to her place the first time we ever hung out, and at first, we were having a really good time. I remember barely checking my phone because we were having the best conversations. After talking for a few hours, we finally kissed, and that turned into a makeout session.
We were making out on her bed for another ten minutes before we started having sex. Everything was amazing; I felt like it was going exactly how it was supposed to. In the middle of it all, we both made the wrong move… we bumped heads so hard. We had to stop what we were doing because we were both in so much pain. We ended up just hanging out for the rest of the night because we just weren’t in the mood anymore.”
Tre*, 21: “We hooked up wearing our Halloween costumes.”
“We were at a Halloween party. This guy and I had been talking for a few weeks and I asked him if he wanted to come with some friends and me to a party near campus over Halloween weekend. He ended up coming and while we were at the party, the two of us snuck away to a more private part of the house. We were both wearing costumes at the time, and we didn’t want to be separated too long from the group. We literally unzipped our clothes and hooked up wearing our Halloween costumes. Other than the devil horns on my costume poking his eye at one point, it wasn’t too bad. We laughed about it after, but it’s just so insane to think about.”
Awkward experiences are inevitable. What most people don’t really prepare for are those awkward hook-ups, especially if you’re queer and it’s your first time. On the bright side, with social media right at our fingertips, we have access to a community of people who can relate to similar stories. Sure, going through the actual experience isn’t so fun, but being able to laugh and talk about it later can be! If you have a less-than-sexy queer hook-up story of your own, don’t worry; you aren’t alone.