So, You’ve Been Blindsided By A Breakup: Here’s How You Can Cope

Breakups are not fun — especially when you don’t see them coming. And if you’ve ever been blindsided by a breakup, then the breakup drama between Zach Bryan and Brianna Chickenfry (LaPaglia) is sure to bring up some (painful) memories. ICYMI, after Bryan announced his breakup with LaPagla on his Instagram story on Oct. 22, Lapaglia posted a statement on her Instagram story, then later a YouTube video, saying that she was completely “blindsided” by Byan’s post. 

LaPaglia dove deeper into her emotions about the breakup in her YouTube video, posted on the PlanBri Uncut YouTube Channel. In her video, LaPaglia said that she and Bryan had just broken up just one day before on Oct. 21, and that she wanted time to heal privately before announcing their breakup on social media. However, according to LaPaglia, Bryan had other plans. “I just woke up to Zach posting on his Instagram that we broke up, and I had no idea that post was going up,” LaPaglia said. “He didn’t text me, he didn’t call me.” Her Campus previously reached out to Bryan’s team for comment, but did not hear back at the time of publication. 

Being blindsided by a breakup is no joke, and it can feel like a slap to the face. After getting your heart broken out of nowhere, you can feel stunned with no words left, and wondering what just happened to you — and why. The question remains: Where do we go from here? It’s not just any type of breakup: It is a breakup that had no communication of what was happening. How do you cope with a twist you didn’t see coming? 

If you’ve ever felt yourself blindsided by a breakup, you’re not alone. As you take the time to process the ending of a relationship, here are five ways you can cope with a breakup you didn’t see coming. 

Feel your feelings.

Allow yourself to feel it — all of it. When you are blindsided, your emotions can automatically shut down as a response, or they can be subconsciously running rampant through your body and mind. They need to be released. Take the time to sit still with yourself and let yourself feel the anger, sadness, confusion, and whatever else bubbles up. 

Take the time to reflect.

What you went through is not something that you can just shrug off your shoulders. It was a relationship you shared with someone you had memories and a connection with. While the emotions are flowing, guide yourself through what just happened: Reflect on any actions or words that were apparent in the midst of the breakup. Looking at the logical side can help you think rationally and balance out your emotions as well.

Give yourself some grace.

As you are processing, you are healing. Try not to be hard on yourself throughout it and spiral out putting blame on your previous partner or on yourself. You may feel drained for a period of time and you may not be productive with the tasks in front of you. You are not a robot. You are human. We make mistakes. Be kind to yourself as you figure it out. 

Reach out to friends and family.

There are people who genuinely care about your well-being. Share your feelings with those who you trust. You may even consider talking to a therapist about the breakup as well to help guide you through your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes isolating yourself can make you feel like you are crazy which can raise stress levels, reduce concentration, and get in the way of other relationships. You aren’t crazy for feeling the way you do.

Come back to yourself.

This is the time to just be you. After being in a relationship (no matter how long), you may have lost a sense of individual identity. Common goals and interests become the same and attachments may form. Regaining a sense of self will help you lead into a clearer mindset. Do the things that you once did or still do that spark joy in the parts of you that matter. It can be as simple as journaling. It may be complicated at first but once you start, everything will come easy.

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