Move over, Eva Mendes, Penelope Cruz, and Rashida Jones, there’s a new celebrity crush in my life: professional soccer player Megan Rapinoe.
Yes, it helps that she’s a world-class athlete whose clutch heroics off the bench paved the US national team’s road to the FIFA Women’s World Cup finals. But even beyond her affinity for guitar, The Shawshank Redemption, and sociology (I did some stalking online to ensure we’re compatible and—fear not—we are), there is something else that makes me so attracted to the backup midfielder: her hair.
I have to admit, a bleach blonde boy cut is normally a don’t of a ‘do, but it’s so perfect on her that merely describing it with a soccer cliché wouldn’t do it justice. Turns out, most guys spent portions of the World Cup analyzing and critiquing the players’ hair, and all of them agree: Rapinoe rocks the Dennis the Menace.
And yet, guys know nothing about hair. The reason is that guys’ hair is beyond simple. Growing up, they had one of, like, three hairstyles: mushroom, parted, spiked, probably in that order. In college, guys walk into the barbershop and request a hairstyle in a single word: shorter.
So, when describing female hair, they’re forced to speak in Neanderthal-esque single-syllable grunts like, “good,” “blonde,” and “bangs.” Some guys, who have sisters, girlfriends, or who recently saw a L’Oreal commercial can offer slightly more complex insights like, “shiny,” “complements her facial structure well,” or “because she’s worth it.” But all in all, as much as guys love and care about hair, their opinions are less than informed.
That’s assuming a guy even notices the complexities and changes in your hairstyle in the first place. Of course, chances improve if he’s prompted with, “Do you like my new haircut?” or even the ever-vague, ever-dangerous, “Notice anything different?” But, unless your new hairstyle makes you a sudden blonde, an obvious Locks of Love donor, or some sort of Lady Gaga impersonator, there is no guarantee that even an astute male will recognize your subtle auburn tint and layers. (Unless of course, he is the type of guy to give himself a subtle auburn tint and layers. Kna’ mean?)
But, let’s say your new hairstyle is drastic enough that guys notice. What do they think?
A guy’s knowledge of the decision-making process, maintenance, and even vocabulary of female hair are tantamount to your knowledge of his fantasy football draft. But while you smartly eschew discussion concerning the merits of the Denver Broncos defense, he may pretend to know what he’s talking about when it comes to your hair. Still, while they may harbor a gut reaction or form a cursory opinion, guys are smart enough not to trust either. Whether consciously or subconsciously, guys defer their solidified opinion to that of other females.
Here’s what happens:
No matter if they like it or not, all of your friends—male and female alike—will tell you they approve of your haircut. But, as we all know, everyone’s real opinion will come out behind your back. Because guys are a) incapable of forming a real opinion on the matter without female input, and b) aware that, similar to them, your girl friends may lie to your face, guys wait until girls start talking behind your back in order to form their opinion.
If girls like your hair, they’ll say so behind your back, and guys will agree. If girls don’t like your hair, they’ll say so behind your back, and again, guys agree. Luckily though, you have the uncanny and all-powerful ability to sway female and, therefore, male opinion on your new hairstyle.
The key is, rocking it.
If your new haircut does not objectively look good, girls will still lie to your face. But, if you rock it—and I mean really rock it—with genuine confidence in its purest form, girls will say behind your back—with complete honesty—“You know, most people couldn’t, but Melanie really pulls it off” or, “I’m normally not a fan of that style, but Janice makes it work.” Then, everyone—including guys—has no choice but to approve.
It’s elusive, but if you can attain unwavering certainty that your hair looks good, no matter what others say, then you’re undeniable. If you’re rocking it, the conversation is no longer about what others deem “good/bad” or “pretty/ugly.” Instead, you’ve seized autonomy; it’s about you, and how you can “pull it off” or how you “make it work.”
For example, you might have a spiky bleach blonde part that barely covers your ears, but if you wear it in on an international stage with the unflappable bravado of a world-class athlete, you’re a short-hair extraordinaire. This is why, even if the US national team fell short, Megan Rapinoe is a winner—not to mention the provider of athletic genes to our future children.
Source:
http://www.fifa.com/womensworldcup/players/player=212337/index.html