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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

6 Super Hot Cyber Sex Tips You Need To Know

POV: You’re in bed watching your favorite holiday movie. Thanksgiving has passed and so has Black Friday, which means there is only one more holiday to celebrate before Christmas: Cyber Monday. Your plans don’t consist of much; maybe checking out Amazon’s deals or clicking on an Instagram ad for a boutique jeweler and adding items to your cart (and most likely leaving them there). You told yourself you’re going to keep it low-key this Cyber Monday because you went a little too hard last year. That is, until bae calls.

While you may not associate Cyber Monday with being freaky, the truth is, it’s the perfect time for it. The holiday is all about doing it from home — and although that usually means shopping, there are so many more fun activities you can do from bed, especially of the spicy nature. Who says Cyber Monday is limited to researching deals and spending money? If you’ve got a special someone this year, don’t miss out on the ultimate chance to really connect with them – right through a screen.

If you’re not too familiar with online or phone sex, have no fear — it’s still new, and there’s so much to know about it. The beautiful thing about it is you can still enjoy your partner and satisfy each other, even if you’re not physically together. Not to mention, because it’s different, it’s so exciting to do — especially if you’re doing it with someone you really like. Since Cyber Monday is approaching rapidly, now is the time to plan the perfect cyber sex date with your pookie, and luckily for you, I’ve got everything you need to know to celebrate the holiday your way.

So, here are six cyber sex tips to try out this Cyber Monday.

Schedule it out beforehand.

First and foremost: planning the details is important. When it comes to phone sex, there are a few different avenues you can go down for how you want to do it. You can talk on the phone, video chat, or simply text (this one is perfect if you have roommates). Pick whatever feels right for you and your partner — it’s all about the both of you.

Once you have your preferred method chosen, pick a time and a place. Life is hectic and it doesn’t take much for it to pass you by if you don’t intentionally carve out time for the important things. Imagine you and bae are planning a dinner date: Pick a specific time and figure out where you’re going to do it (most likely your room or bathroom, but most options are acceptable). 

Make it fun!

If you’ve ever seen that episode of New Girl when Winston lets Nick borrow his phone sex background and props for his LDR spicy call with Reagan, well, this is kind of like that. It’s the perfect opportunity to try out something new with your partner without the pressure of being physically together. You can easily spice things up by setting a theme, role-playing, dressing up, or adding toys — the perfect eye candy for the both of you.

Communicate boundaries

Before you dive head-first into the world of cyber sex, make sure you and your partner communicate your boundaries. If you’re not willing to do anything too freaky just yet, that’s totally fine! You and bae will have just as much fun talking spicy on the phone or just simply texting. Just make sure the two of you are on the same page so both of you can have the ultimate cyber sex experience you deserve.

Come prepared.

If the vibe is using toys, video chatting, or role-playing, make sure you have everything you need to make your dreams come true. If you plan on using your vibrator, make sure it’s fully charged — the last thing you want is to be mid-phone sex and it shuts off (we’ve all been there). Charge your phone or laptop as well so you don’t have to worry about putting it on the charger in the middle of your spicy sesh. If you have any other props or accessories you plan on using, have them next to you and at the ready when it’s time to go.

Don’t be afraid to take the lead.

With phone sex, there’s a lot more guidance necessary than the regular in-person sex experience. Since you’re not together, moments don’t flow together as much as they would in person — you have to be able to direct the flow of the experience. If you feel comfortable doing it, use this opportunity to talk spicy to your partner and use your inner dominance to guide them. As long as they’re also comfortable, you can put on your boss hat and tell them what to do next. (This is a personal favorite of mine.)

Aftercare is still key!

We’ve all heard about aftercare: cuddling, talking, and/or just enjoying each others’ presence after sex. This is so important, especially when you and your partner are more than just hookups to each other (which is also fine if that’s the case – just make sure the two of you are on the same page about that). Since phone sex is a little different, and you’re not actually there to lay with them, wrap up your cyber sex sesh by asking them how it was for them, what they liked, and what they want to try next time. Bonus points if the two of you go back to talking about your holiday plans or tomorrow’s weather — that’s how you know you really like each other.

Whatever it is that you and bae decide to do for your Cyber Monday cyber sex, the biggest thing to remember is to have fun and enjoy each other. At the end of the day, that’s all that phone sex is really about! Communicate your boundaries, plan ahead, and get ready for a freaky experience you’ll be able to reminisce on with your partner. 

Alexis is a Wellness Writer for Her Campus and a recent graduate of Bowling Green State University. Her passions include graphic and digital design, her spirituality, content creation, trying new recipes, writing, and inspiring other women. She enjoys writing about womanhood, life as a 20-something, and relationships. She also has her own blog, her glow, that she started in 2021 and has been building ever since.