Kayleigh is tired. She’s freshly 24, working through both law and medical school applications, and spends both her days and nights as a patient care technician. When Kayleigh isn’t working, she dedicates her time to her friends, leading the charts at Cyclebar, or re-reading the Percy Jackson series in an attempt to protect her peace. But her thriving social life, burgeoning career, and passion for demigods aren’t the only things that make Kayleigh tired. When it comes to dating in 2024, our girl is exhausted — because Kayleigh “f*cking hates” dating apps.
“I use dating apps in hopes that I can meet new people for dating, friends, and fun,” Kayleigh tells Her Campus. “But it’s hard — I feel like I am always cycling through the same options.”
Let’s be honest, here: Do you know anyone (and I mean anyone) who is the least bit passionate about dating apps? Seriously, think of a time when you thought to yourself, “Oh boy! I can’t wait to do my favorite activity of the day!” to then open a dating app, mindlessly swipe on the same 20 people you’ve already seen before, and get hit by the dreaded paywall to see your “best matches.” Not to mention, messaging back and forth is like pulling teeth — and even that metaphor is generous. Admit it, Gen Zers: like Kayleigh, you’re tired of the dating apps too.
In the digital age, almost everything we could ask for is at our fingertips, including romance. So, in theory, Gen Z should be, like, the most datable, cuffed-up generation in existence, right? Wrong. According to a 2024 study from Novuna Personal Finance, 57% of Gen Zers are disillusioned with dating apps and want to opt out of online dating for the foreseeable future.
But why? Turns out, there are a lot of reasons.
Gen Z has no clue how to date offline.
It’s rare to have a meet-cute these days. For college students, meeting people organically is a whole lot easier than navigating relationships post-grad — and elder Gen Zers are feeling the dating fatigue.
Rose*, 23, lives in New York and only uses Hinge. She’s bored of it, but struggles to date IRL because, to be frank, there’s nowhere to go that doesn’t cost money. Think about it: drinks will run up a tab at a bar, a gym membership costs money, and even a trip to the coffee shop results in a $7 spend.
“Everybody just feels very guarded these days. No one trusts each other which is fair because people can be [unpredictable]. But back in the day, I suppose things just felt much more connected in a weird way.”
Rose*, 23
“I feel safer meeting someone through work or organically but it’s just so, so, so hard because there’s just a lack of third spaces that don’t cost money,” Rose tells Her Campus. “Everybody just feels very guarded these days. No one trusts each other which is fair because people can be [unpredictable]. But back in the day, I suppose things just felt much more connected in a weird way.”
23-year-old Bella agrees: “I stopped using dating apps a few months ago, but I did use them because I didn’t feel like there were any spaces to meet people.”
And then there’s Marcus*, 24, who simply told me, “I don’t know where else to try and meet someone.”
The recent decline in third spaces has been looming for a while. There’s work, there’s home (sometimes, they’re the same place), and everywhere else costs money. If you think about it, if you’re a broke college kid or a struggling post-grad, there aren’t many places to meet new people except for the Internet.
In 2024, it costs to find your perfect match.
What once was an easy, downloadable, and free app that allowed users to meet other singles in their area had morphed into a multi-billion dollar industry. According to The Business Of Apps, the dating app market made $5.34 billion in revenue in 2022, with $2.8 billion coming from Match Group — the company behind Tinder, Match.com, Hinge, The League, and more. In 2023, the Pew Research Center found that roughly 35% of dating app users paid for additional features on dating apps.
Surprisingly, there are some Gen Zers who are down to spend some cash to find their match. Marcus, for example, pays for the Bumble Premium subscription, which costs $19.99 for one week, $39.99 for one month, $76.99 for three months, and $229.99 for a lifetime subscription. “I travel a lot and want Travel Mode on so I can swipe in my home location from abroad,” he explains.
Chris*, 24, has also paid for additional features on dating apps. “I’ve paid before in the past,” he says. “During romantic lows, and during a depressive period, I’d pay for it to hopefully better get a connection.”
“I never paid for anything on Hinge because it was so rare that I’d match with anyone. I didn’t feel like I needed it or that it was worth it.”
Bella, 23
But other Gen Zers aren’t as willing to open their wallet. And, if anything, they’re pissed that payment is a requirement for online dating. “I refuse to pay, mainly because of the price of the plans, but also how exploitative they are,” Kayleigh says. “For example, Hinge’s cheapest option of a plan is a six-month-long commitment [at $150 for six months]… So now, I’m paying to be able to match with people that have more of my preferences — which makes me more likely to actually meet someone I’d want to date — yet I’m stuck with six months’ worth of a commitment to this plan.”
But, for Kayleigh, the math doesn’t stop there. “If I were to choose the week-to-week option because of this logic, I’d end up paying $25 a week, which over six months, would equate to $600,” she says. “And while it may be worth the investment for some, I’ll stick to my HBO Max subscription for now.”
21-year-old Avery M., a student at The University Of New Mexico, responded honestly when I asked if she pays for a dating app: “No, I’m poor.”
And then, there are singles like Bella. Though Bella has never paid for a Bumble, Hinge, or Tinder Premium subscription, she has dabbled in a pay-to-use dating app. “I paid to be on Raya for one month just to see if I would have better luck on there — spoiler alert, I did not,” she says. “There were hardly any men on there, but that is probably more of a Pittsburgh problem [where Bella is located] than anything else. I never paid for anything on Hinge because it was so rare that I’d match with anyone. I didn’t feel like I needed it or that it was worth it.”
But does Gen Z even want romance?
There’s nothing a dating app notification with the words “ur hot asf” to make your heart flutter. But if this is the modern-day meet-cute, many Gen Zers want no part of it whatsoever. And some are putting their foot down, deleting the apps, and taking a chance on IRL dating — even if it means being single in the meantime.
Out of the 10 Gen Zers Her Campus spoke to, every single one of them told us they would prefer finding a partner IRL, rather than scrolling through a dating app. What’s even more surprising, is that a majority of them are looking to abandon hookup culture to experience a “real” relationship.
“People never approached me on campus to take me on a date, and people that would approach me in bars were pretty much only looking for casual hookups which I’m not interested in at this point,” Bella says. “I am a little bit shy when it comes to approaching men, so I prefer if a man approaches me — I also find it attractive and brave.”
“Going out to a bar and trying to meet someone can be a bit much and it’s like, I can casually swipe from the comfort of my bed, or even on the train. But, meeting someone by chance is rather romantic.”
Luke, 24
Avery W., 24, agrees. “It feels exhausting to sit and swipe through people, I just don’t have the energy,” she says. “I think I’d much rather just go out and have something happen organically. On dating apps, sometimes I feel like I’m trying too hard to seek something out.”
Luke, 24, identifies as gay and non-binary. And while Luke isn’t taking dating seriously, they’re definitely open to the possibility of meeting a partner IRL. However, they prefer the convenience of online dating: “Dating apps are kind of the reality of dating in the 21st century. Going out to a bar and trying to meet someone can be a bit much and it’s like, I can casually swipe from the comfort of my bed, or even on the train. But, meeting someone by chance is rather romantic.”
And even though they pay for premium subscriptions, Chris and Marcus also have hope for an offline connection. “I feel like meeting someone in person and then developing a relationship creates a longer-lasting and better relationship,” Chris says.
So, where does that leave us?
To start dating offline, we have to start living offline.
As a generation who grew up tied to technology, it can be difficult to flip the switch and start interacting organically. And while you may be tempted to delete your dating app and hit the town hoping someone will come up to you and whisk you away on horseback, that’s not our reality as Gen Zers. (Plus, we have Uber.)
Like Kayleigh, Gen Z is tired when it comes to dating apps. They’re tired of spending money, tired of swiping, and most of all, they’re tired of feeling like there’s no other option but the spaces online. But if there’s one thing to learn from the collective exhaustion, it’s that we’re all on the same page, here. Maybe this is our sign to take a step back from the screens and try our hand at an IRL connection. And, if you see Kayleigh out and about, you can ask her about her feelings toward the Percy Jackson adaptations. Trust me, she has feelings about them.