This piece appeared as part of a series on your “number” – see the rest of the package here.
With regard to her sexual number, one of a girl’s biggest concerns is often what guys would think of it. Would a future partner not be interested in her because he finds her number too high or too low? Are girls with sexual experience not “girlfriend material?” Do guys these days still expect to marry virgins? These questions and others can drive girls crazy trying to figure out, and it can be hard to get a straight answer from a dude — because your current boyfriend might not want to hurt your feelings, your best guy friend might be a total jerk to girls, etc. So I sat down with eight guys at the University of Michigan and asked them what they really thought about your number. Below are some of their answers, straight from their mouths and totally uncensored. (Trust me, I couldn’t make some of this stuff up if I tried!)
Would you rather sleep with a girl with a lower number or a higher number?
“Definitely a girl with a lower number, they’re probably clean and you know they’re not too easy to get. It’s not attractive if you know anyone can get her.” — Mark
“Girls with higher numbers are hot, you know they know what they’re doing and that they enjoy sex more.” — Eric
“There’s less pressure to perform well if a girl hasn’t been with a lot of guys — she’s probably a lot easier to please.” — Joe
“Girls with higher numbers are probably into kinky stuff — enough said.” — Chris
“Numbers don’t say everything though, a girl could have dated the same guy forever and have a number of 1, but still be a total freak.” — Pat
“If I’m sleeping with a girl with a higher number, I don’t feel like it’s as much of an accomplishment — you kind of want it to be a challenge. Well, wait, actually that’s not always true.” — Ryan
“The downside to a girl having a lower number is that if she’s only been with one or two people, it could be a hard act to follow. She might view sex as a really emotional thing, and that could mean more of a commitment from you.” – Frank
[pagebreak]
Do you find virgins attractive? What would you think if a girl you were interested in was a virgin?
“I think I’d like to have sex with a virgin. A lot of guys might be turned off by it, but I’d feel special and I’d make sure to give her a special experience in return.” — Joe
“I could never have sex with a virgin, I’d just feel like an a**hole. I just couldn’t do it.” — Ryan
“I don’t think I could marry a girl without having sex with her first. I could wait until she was comfortable, but ultimately, you have to test drive the car before you buy it.” — Pat
“If I’m attracted to her, I’d obviously still want to have sex with her. It would be kind of exciting to be someone’s first.” — Mark
“A virgin must really like you if she wants to have sex with you, so I’d be flattered.” — Chris
How much does a girl’s number really matter to you?
“Do I like her or is this a one night thing? That makes all the difference, I don’t care about her number at all if it’s a one-night stand.” — Ryan
“Numbers don’t come up during one-night stands — you don’t really know each other, you’re probably drunk, and you probably just want to get off. It’s not really intimate.” — Joe
“If a girl’s disease-free, I don’t care how many guys she’s been with. She can f*ck 1,000 people — no wait, that’s absurd — she can f*ck 50 people and I’d be like, ‘Alright, do you have AIDS? No. OK let’s get down to it.’” — Frank
“It’s more about how a girl conducts herself — you want a classy girl, not one that’s weird or really out there. You want other people to respect your girl.” — Mark
“If I’m gonna settle down with a girl, it’s better if she hasn’t slept around. Would I get over it? Yeah, probably, but I’d occasionally think about her having sex with a ton of dudes and it would piss me off.” — Eric
What about when you wanted to get married? Would a girl’s number matter more?
“Well, you’re older so her number is probably higher. I’d definitely take that into consideration.” — Frank
“If a girl’s number is super high, I’d be less likely to think of her as wife material. If you’ve been with 50 guys, why should I think you’d be faithful to me for the rest of your life? I’d definitely question her about it, and it would be an issue I’d have to think a lot about.” — Joe
“Even if I wasn’t super comfortable with a girl’s number, I’d get over it if I wanted to marry her. She’s obviously awesome, and you’re usually dating/engaged for a while so you’d have time to come to terms with it.” — Pat
“If my wife was a virgin, I’d think that was really cool. If she’d made it that far without having sex — and was willing to overlook the fact that I have — I’d love her all the more for it and I’d feel really special.” — Joe
“No guy wants his future wife to have slept with her entire graduating class, but if I love her, and she loves me, I’d look past it.” — Frank
[pagebreak]
“By the time we’re old enough to be thinking about marriage, I seriously doubt numbers will matter. Dating as an adult is like a screening process — you find people that you’re compatible with and that you could see yourself living with for the rest of your life. If a girl had passed all of those tests, a number would just be irrelevant — by the point in a relationship that the topic came up, you’d probably like them too much to care.” — Mark
Any other thoughts about numbers?
“I think it’s about quality of sexual experience rather than quantity, and that gives an edge to girls in relationships. One night stands can be fun, but intimacy ultimately leads to more enjoyable sex.” — Joe
“Not a single girl I’ve ever slept with has asked me about my number — and if a numbers conversation mattered enough to her that she’d change how she felt about me, then I wouldn’t want to f*ck her anyway.” — Ryan
“I’m not into one night stands, so a lower number is pretty important to me — there are more cons than pros of having a high number to me.” — Pat
“It’s impossible to say that one number is too high and another is too low — if you really like a girl, and she has an amazing personality and all that, it doesn’t matter. It’s not worth it to end a good thing over a number.” — Frank
“There’s definitely a double standard at play when it comes to numbers — I’m sorry girls, I didn’t make it up, but it exists. Women are supposed to be innocent and clean, but it’s more important for men to be experienced and know how to handle women.” — Eric
“I just really don’t think numbers are a big deal. Girls put way too much thought into this, they’re so paranoid about their image and how they appear to guys. But your number is such a circumstantial thing, and guys know that. If you’re a cool girl and you have qualities that guys like, it won’t matter. I promise you.” — Mark