Technology has changed the way relationships work. While it’s so much easier to find out information about a new guy you’re hanging out with, check up on your boyfriend, share your feelings with seven hundred of your closest friends, etc., it has also become that much easier to push guys away. In today’s digital age, you have to be careful that you aren’t putting the wrong stuff out there. Her Campus has narrowed down the top five digital mistakes collegiettes make so that you won’t do the same!
1. Being Overly Emotional on Social Media
It can be tempting to share your feelings with all of your ‘followers’ and ‘friends’; after all, they probably want to hear about it, right? Maybe some of your friends do, but the majority don’t – especially the guys. If you tweet about a fight with your best friend or about your family drama, guys will assume that you are overly dramatic. For example, “OMG I can’t believe Sarah ditched out on me again. She’s the worst friend ever… I’m so over it!” Your social media accounts say a lot about you so be careful about what you put out there. It’s a reflection on you so make it positive, no matter how you actually feel at the time. Save the drama for face-to-face conversations with your family and close friends.
2. Having a Constantly Updated, Super Personal Blog
Blogs have become a huge part of people’s everyday lives, and many people choose to use them as an online diary. It’s okay to share personal details and anecdotes from your day in your blog, however, it’s not okay to go overboard with the details. If a new guy you are crushing on finds your blog, what will he think about you? He probably won’t like it if your latest post is titled “My Relationship History” with a full description (good or bad) of all the guys you’ve dated, hooked up with, hung out with, talked to in class… etc. Always remember that the Internet is open to the public so your new crush may be searching for you to see if he thinks you would be compatible. Don’t let him read about your horrible breakup last semester, your bad grades, what you ate for breakfast, etc. Your blog should not be an online diary unless you plan to make it private.
3. Posting Pictures
One of the best features of social media sites is the picture posting function. It’s always nice to see photos of your friends and family doing fun things. It’s even more fun to post your own photos and read the comments from your friends. However, what’s not fun is turning off a guy you like because there are too many photos of you partying like crazy. While it’s okay to have a great time with your friends on the weekend, you don’t need to advertise that you were wasted beyond belief on Saturday, that you couldn’t walk straight, that you made out with some random freshman, etc. Keep your pictures classy and private! Leave a little to the imagination for your new guy.
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4. Online Chatting
When you like a new guy, it’s hard to resist the urge to talk to him every second of every day. So obviously when he comes on Facebook, you want to chat him, even if it’s just to say ‘hey.’ Don’t do it! One of two things will happen: he will either think you are a loser who sits on Facebook all day, or he will think that you are a creep who is stalking his every move. You don’t want him to think either of those things about you, do you? So resist the urge to chat him! Wait for him to talk to you first, and if he doesn’t, then chat him once a week or when you actually have something to say. He will be much more inclined to talk to you first if he hasn’t already run out of conversation topics because you pounce on him every time he logs in.
5. Not So Subtle Statuses/Conversations
Okay, okay, we’re probably all guilty of talking to our friends about personal stuff via Facebook and sometimes even deeming it ‘status worthy.’ For example, say you hooked up with a cute guy last night, but he had really bad breath and you can’t get over it. You tell your friend all about it and then make a not so subtle Facebook status about last night’s stinky breath situation. Your friend then comments on the status, continuing the conversation – only now it’s public. The new guy is bound to see it and your lack of discretion will definitely push him away. Remember that just because you’re talking to one of your closest friends doesn’t mean it will stay between the two of you. And while you may think you are being subtle… trust us, it’s definitely obvious. This also applies to making statuses that are (obviously) directed toward a certain someone, often a guy, who you don’t have that sort of rapport with. Whether it’s song lyrics, a quote, whatever, it’s painfully obvious and a cry for attention – steer clear!
The digital world is evolving so you have to be careful about how you’re perceived in your social media accounts. Don’t let one of the above mistakes keep you from landing the guy of your dreams! All it takes is a little discretion and a whole lot of untagging. The main idea here is keep it private – for your sake and for the sake of your future relationships. The internet is a public forum so it’s not the place for anything more than surface information. Keep it light and fun – your new guy, whether it’s a crush, hookup or boyfriend, will definitely appreciate it.