Losing our childhood idols will always be a shock, and learning how to grapple with this grief can be a difficult process, especially in light of the recent passing of Liam Payne. On Oct. 16, 2024, the singer and former member of One Direction — one of the most influential boy bands of our generation — passed away in Buenos Aires. He was 31.
The news quickly swept the internet by storm, and for a while, many people couldn’t quite believe what happened — even now, the shock of it is still difficult to manage. When a notable figure from our childhood passes, we can feel the impact deeply; we seek answers that don’t often surface, and sometimes, it’s difficult to grapple with our grief when someone we’ve always admired passes in such a tragic manner. The distress that we may feel links us back to the times of our youth, which can feel nostalgic, yet incredibly dispiriting.Â
“Individuals can feel added grief after a celebrity passes even if they didn’t know them or have interaction with them,” Dr. David Tzall, a clinical psychologist, tells Her Campus. “It’s important to recognize that your feelings are valid. It can be easy to dismiss grief over a celebrity’s death as unimportant, but if their work or presence meant something to you, your sadness is real.”Â
Of course, anyone can be impacted by the loss of a celebrity, even if they didn’t know them or ever have an interaction with them. Our deep connections to celebrities emerge when we establish a parasocial relationship with them; incidentally, we’ll view them as an intimate friend — someone that we feel devoted to and trust.Â
“It’s not a healthy approach to have with someone who is essentially a stranger,” Dr. Tzall notes. “This can add to increased grief because it’s as if a close friend and confidant died. When a person follows an artist’s career or connects with their stories, the celebrity can feel like a familiar presence in their life. Losing that presence can create a sense of personal loss, much like the end of a long-distance relationship.”Â
It’s easy to grow attached to celebrities, especially when the media paints them as idolized figures. This is especially apparent when it comes to the development of fandoms, which are communities that share the same intense passion for a particular subject or celebrity; within fandoms, parasocial relationships are able to thrive since everyone’s attention is completely absorbed in their particular interests. Being a part of fandoms, like One Direction’s, can feel incredibly nostalgic, which is another significant reason why many folks are struggling to work through Payne’s death.Â
“Celebrities often serve as markers of particular moments in our lives,” Tzall says. “When they die, it can bring back memories of those times.”Â
There are healthy ways to cope.
Navigating the death of a beloved celebrity can be difficult, but not impossible. It’s important to first recognize that your feelings are valid; celebrity deaths can be easy to dismiss, but just know it’s okay to feel upset by this. When we accept our grief, it can alleviate some of the pain we may be feeling.Â
Tzall adds that sharing your thoughts and memories of this celebrity with others who feel the same way can aid in the grieving process and validate your sadness as well. Engaging in online discussions or with friends can establish a sense of belonging and connection, which are great outlets of support that can assist you during these difficult times.Â
“Sometimes, a celebrity’s death can evoke a larger sense of loss or bring feelings about your own life and mortality,” Tzall shares. “It may be helpful to use this time for reflection. Think about the values or messages that the celebrity embodied and how those themes might be relevant to your own life.”
Reflecting on the significance of this connection — the ways the artist’s music, presence, and livelihood — shaped your perception or the way you felt about yourself and the world around you. Being able to picture these joyful moments can make the grieving process a little easier. It always helps to attend public memorials, live streams, and community gatherings where folks can remember and celebrate the contributions of that artist in their life.Â
It’s okay to feel saddened by celebrity deaths, especially when we have fond memories of the way their work and lifestyle impacted our experiences. Everyone reacts differently to tragedy, but hopefully with this advice, you can learn how to cope and process these big feelings easier and healthier.Â
If you or someone you know is seeking help for mental health concerns, visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website, or call 1-800-950-NAMI(6264). For confidential treatment referrals, visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website, or call the National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP(4357). In an emergency, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or call 911.