It’s every girl’s worst nightmare: you’ve found out that the guy of your dreams is cheating on you with someone else. You thought he was Mr. Perfect, but he’s really Mr. Big Jerk. You’re furious, you’re devastated, you can’t figure out why he would ever cheat, and you have no idea what to do now. Well, the first thing you need to do is dump the jerk! Contrary to what you might be feeling in that moment, breaking up isn’t that hard to do. At least, it’s not that hard when you plan ahead. We’ve got a list of different collegiettes have gone about ditching a cheater—and they’re pretty wild. Just be sure to exact your revenge with caution—you don’t want to do anything that could get you in trouble! Now, dry your tears and keep reading!
1. Make Him Think You’ve Got Someone, Too
It might make you feel better to give the jerk a taste of his own medicine. At least, that’s what Emily*, a student from Ohio State, did. When she found out that her guy was hooking up with other girls on the side, she had her friends stage a conversation in front of him. They not-so-subtly whispered about her seeing another guy, just for her cheating guy to hear!
For the icing on the cake, when Emily knew her boyfriend was out of town, she sent a fake invite for a rendezvous with the nonexistent mystery guy to her cheating boyfriend to read! A week later, she called and broke up with him, saying that she had “taken up new interests.”
When Emily’s ex got the message, he tried to regain some of his rep and convince their mutual friends that the break-up was all her fault. He even tried to get some intel on who the mystery man was! “He was jealous for a while, and kept trying to contact me to find out who the guy was,” Emily says. “He eventually got the hint that I was done with him.” This is a surefire way to turn the tables on a cheater—make him think he’s being cheated on, too!
2. Phones are a Girl’s Best Friend
When you don’t want to deal with ever seeing your cheating jerk again, turn to your phone for support. A few collegiettes, including Hanna, a collegiette from Penn State, have texted their soon-to-be-exes to end the relationship. “It’s definitely easier when you have your phone to hide behind,” Hanna says. “I knew I never wanted to see my ex again, and breaking up in person would have been too painful.”
Just be sure to word your texts right! UCLA student Julia* says she texted her dishonest ex: “UR A CHEAT. NO XO 4 U. G2G, LOS3R.” Sometimes, you just need to keep it short, not-so sweet, and to the point!
3. Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold
Sometimes, you might get a hankering for some old-fashioned public revenge.
Alicia, a recent graduate of Emory University, says that she set out to completely humiliate her cheating ex who cheated on her behind her back for three years. “I wanted everyone at school to know what he did, so I put up flyers all over campus,” she says. “In big block letters were the words ‘NOT WANTED,’ and his name and photo were underneath. At the bottom, I wrote: ‘LIKES TO HAVE HIS CAKE AND EAT EVERYONE ELSE’S TOO. REWARD OFFERED TO ANY WOMAN HE CAN STAY FAITHFUL TO.’ I know it seems childish and petty, but it was just what I needed, and he definitely had trouble finding a date after that!”
4. Sing the Sucker a Sweet Song
Just because your guy’s a cheating jerk doesn’t mean the romance is gone—how about a personalized serenade?
That’s what Kasey*, a collegiette from Bucknell, kept in mind when she set out to get back at her boyfriend of eight months. As per her plan, when the two were out with friends at a karaoke night funded by the university, Kasey took the stage. She said, “I’m dedicating this number to my loving boyfriend, Jeff*, who is going to love the way I decked out his new Jeep.” She blew him a kiss and proceeded to serenade him with Carrie Underwood’s song “Before He Cheats.” Halfway through the song, the audience’s cheater-hating boos were so loud that he ran out of the place in humiliation. Sounds like he was really moved by her performance!
5. A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Words
Now this break-up method definitely isn’t for everyone. NYU graduate Sara* said that once she found out that her guy was a cheater, she made sure everyone else knew, too. She Photoshopped her guy’s head onto a photo of a cheetah and made it her profile picture on Facebook! She tagged him in it long enough for him and his friends to see it, and then unfriended him so she wouldn’t have to deal with him again. If you go this route, everyone will be sure to know your guy is more than just an animal, he’s a cheetah!
As you know by now, there’s more than just one way to dump a cheater; all you need to do is get a little creative. Need some more inspiration? Check out the dos and don’ts of breaking up. Have you ditched a jerk before? We want to know how—tell us in the comments below!
*Names have been changed.