That cutie in your chem lab has been flirting with you all semester, and you think things could potentially be heading towards a relationship — but then summer catches you by surprise and you have to go three or four months without seeing him or her. So what do you do when your crush is miles and miles away? Here are some ways to keep the spark alive even from a distance!
Go on a Group Hangout Before School Ends
So maybe the two of you have never hung out one-on-one, which is totally fine. In that case, get a bunch of your pals together (like those other chem lab students you both are friendly with or a bunch of your best girl friends to act as your wingwomen) and go bowling, out to a movie or — if you’re 21 — out for drinks before the end of the semester.
Julia*, a sophomore at the University of Toronto, spent valuable time with her crush last spring before they left for the summer.
“We’d been teasing and flirting with each other in the dorm, but nothing had come of it yet,” she says. “A few days before we left for the summer, I casually asked him to come out with some of my friends and bring a few of his friends. There were no awkward moments because there were a bunch of us there, and I could get to know him better, too. We ended up keeping in touch all summer.”
What better way to keep your crush’s mind on you than to hang out with him or her before you leave and remind him or her how awesome you are? It’s also a great opportunity to drop some hints that you’re interested in keeping in touch over the summer.
Don’t, however, get too serious with your crush too quickly!
James, a sophomore at the University of Miami, says, “This girl I’d been casually flirting with told me at the beginning of last summer that she wanted us to date. It was cute, but it also made me feel uncomfortable cause I wasn’t on the same page as her right then, and there was no guarantee that I would be in the fall either.”
As tough as it is to be patient through the summer, it’s better being patient than freaking out your crush with a future request or ultimatum.
Rachel, a junior at McGill University, tells us how she ruined her chances last year with a girl in her dorm she’d been crushing on.
“We’d smile when we passed by each other and occasionally would sit next to each other in the cafeteria,” she says. “I got anxious that she’d forget about me over the summer, so right before I left I did this whole dramatic thing where I told her I would love to go out with her in the fall… needless to say, she was a little weirded out. I guess nobody wants to feel pressured to make a commitment for something three months away!”
Send Your Crush Flirty Texts
There’s no certain set amount that you should or shouldn’t text your crush, but don’t be afraid to put yourself out there from time to time—once or twice a week, when you hear a funny story he or she might like or hear a song he or she should check out.
Alexa, a junior at the University of Oregon, says that since she and her crush spent their summers very far apart, the easiest way for her to keep in touch with him was through texting.
“We gave each other enough space to do our own thing over the summer, but whenever someone told me a ridiculous joke or something I knew he’d like hearing, I’d shoot him a message just to keep things rolling when we weren’t together,” she says.
As long as you guys have each other’s numbers already and have been having fun text conversations, it shouldn’t be tough to keep it up—but make sure you don’t overdo it.
“I totally over-texted this guy I was interested in last summer,” says Sarah*, a junior at Boston College. “We’d been texting pretty regularly during the last couple months of the school year, but I didn’t think about the fact that when we were no longer seeing each other in person, my constant presence via text might freak him out a bit.”
Jack, a junior at the University of Pittsburgh, says that he was interested in a girl last spring, but she would text him almost every day over the summer, which was a turnoff.
“She was cute and I enjoyed talking to her, but she was texting me every single time she thought about me, which didn’t even leave me time to miss her—and honestly, it was really annoying,” he says.
Don’t get too heavy on your crush! Saying things like, “I miss you” and, “come visit me!” might be overkill. Be yourself, but play it cool so you don’t scare him off!
Mail Your Crush a Postcard
Mailing a postcard (from your exotic travel destination or even from home) is a simple and subtle way to say “hey” with no stress about seeming too forward or demanding.
Chat about your summer plans before the two of you head off in separate directions, and if you’re going someplace exciting, hint to your crush that you’d love to send him or her a postcard — hopefully he or she will be excited to tell you where to mail it!
“I sent my crush a postcard from Jamaica when I visited last summer,” says Jess, a sophomore at the University of Virginia. “He sent me a Facebook message as soon as he’d gotten it telling me how nice it was… we actually started dating when we got back to school a couple months later!”
Keep it short and sweet; give your crush the quick version of your summer and what you’ve been up to, and tell him or her you’re looking forward to seeing him or her soon.
While a postcard is great, it’s not the time yet to send a long, romantic love letter. Letters are definitely a sweet gesture for established couples doing long-distance relationships or spending the summer apart, but if you’re still only in the flirting stages with your crush, a love letter would most likely scare him or her off.
“This girl I was interested sent me a long, super-intense letter over the summer about her feelings for me,” says Brian, a sophomore at the University of Chicago. “It really threw me off, especially since we were only just starting to get to know each other.”
While hinting at your feelings is a good way to keep you on his mind over the summer, don’t profess your undying love for him, because he just might not feel the same way!
Send Your Crush Cute Snapchats
Snapchat is an awesome, easy way to flirt without committing you or your crush to a long conversation.
Dylan, a senior at the University of Wisconsin, says he loved getting Snapchats from his crush every once in a while last summer.
“She’d send me photos of her dog doing something adorable or a hilarious bumper sticker, and it was great to feel like she was sharing bits of her life with me without needing us to talk all the time,” he says.
Shoot your crush a silly photo or two (a punny sign you see or your gross-looking-but-delicious dinner), and see if he or she takes the initiative to get in touch!
One big mistake to avoid, though, is sending too many photos of just you (via mirror pics and selfies).
If you just got a drastic haircut, then sure, snap a quick pic and send it to your crush. But sending lipstick-ed, fishy-lipped, full-makeup-ed selfies multiple times a day is going to annoy your crush more than anything else.
Danny, a freshman at Washington University in St. Louis, says he had a flirtation going on with a girl that turned to Snapchat flirting once they went home for winter break.
“She started out just sending me funny things she knew I’d appreciate, but as break went on I was getting more and more ‘Don’t I look pretty’ selfies, which just wasn’t attractive,” he says. “I know what you look like; you don’t need to pretty yourself up and send me a ton of photos to remind me.”
Yes, taking selfies can be fun, but once you start sending them to people, they can also be interpreted as you being very self-centered — which isn’t the kind of vibe you want to give off to your crush!
It’s never easy being away from someone you’re starting to care about, and it’s less easy when you two are only in the flirting stages. But if you make sure to keep things simple and fun in your contact over the summer, there’s a greater chance you two can keep the spark alive and see if things ignite in the fall!
*Names have been changed.