Roosevelt was President. Then Truman. Coca-Cola was the unofficial soda. Women wore poodle skirts and men wore letterman jackets. More often than not, diners were filled with young couples sharing milkshakes and living the romantic life that most of us could only dream of having.
This is the romanticized version of the ’50s. A lot of people consider this era to be one of the best times to “go steady.” However, once you remove your rose-tinted glasses this era, even the dating life, isn’t all that it’s dreamt to be. Andrew King, author of the article “From Mountain Peak to Total Woman: An Evolutionary History of Pre-feminist Dating Advice,” argues that the ’50s were a time period where people tried to have a purely rational approach to life and dating. Love was less like a battlefield and more like a strategic game of chess. And because of this, the dating advice given was really… cringy. Here are a few of the worst tips (and some revisions for modern daters):
Beth L. Bailey’s book Porch to Backseat showcased the belief that, in the 1950s, going “steady” or formally dating someone is something that elevates your status. If you are going steady with someone, it showcases class and desirability.
Yikes! Dating someone just to look desirable is a pretty toxic thing to do. People aren’t accessories. Nobody exists just to make you feel better about yourself. Additionally, desirability comes from within: Work on your self-confidence, advance your personal style, and learn how to be alone. Self-love trumps a relationship any day. Attractiveness is not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. No matter what you look like — if you love yourself and are confident with yourself, you are nothing less than gorgeous!
In 1948, John H. Burma argued in his book How to Date Scientifically that dating is about security. You should find someone who ticks off boxes. Think about what type of person you see yourself dating and then find them.
Burma also argued that women that are self-reliant often ruin their own relationships. Play towards gender roles and let the man take the lead.
The 1951 film Going Steady? argued that dating should be a prelude to marriage. If you aren’t dating seriously, why are you dating at all?
Needless to say, this dating advice sucks. Although the romanticized version of the ’50s was characterized as a time of neighborly love and respect, in reality, it was a time characterized by rampant racism, sexism, and homophobia, to name a few issues. Because of this, many relationships of the time were toxic. Today’s world is far from perfect, but it’s leaps and bounds away from then. We should pursue relationships with today’s values in mind.
So let’s take off the rose-colored glasses and leave the past in the past, shall we?