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I remember freshman year, a group of new friends and I were running up and down hills in the quad. (What? I’m from Florida? It was novelty at the time). We were all laughing, some rolling down the hills, others jumping– and of course with all that silliness, things got disheveled. Some girls pulled leaves out of their hair; other’s readjusted their clothes. No big deal right?
Well, it wasn’t until I did one of those awkward hop-jumps to pull my pants a little higher so I wouldn’t turn into a plumber. It was then that one of my friends decided to comment, “My God, Nikki. Buy clothes that fit. Need to go up a size?”
Everyone went silent, and I swear my blood ran cold for a moment. But life continued on after an awkward pause. However, when I finally got my friend alone, I looked her square in the eyes and confronted her.
“Whatever, I was just kidding,” she rolled her eyes.
“I know, and I’m telling you it’s not funny. Talk to me again like that if you’re looking for a way to quickly lose friends.”
It was her turn to be quiet. Then finally she apologized. And you know what? She never talked to me like that again.
Body image is a hard thing to master. And by master, I mean to look in the mirror and be happy with yourself to the point where you can at least say, “I’m not that bad” or to look someone in the eyes and demand the respect you deserve.
There’s a lot of things that tear down our body image. Sometimes it’s our own thoughts that tear us apart filling us with self-doubt. Sometimes it’s other people. And sometimes, it’s both.
And sometimes the comments that hurt us the most are well meaning. I know a girl who’s mother always talked about how my friend was always watching her weight or needing to cut the chub down before prom.
And then when we let our own thoughts get a hold of ourselves—oh boy, it’s a disaster. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had friends de-tag themselves from pictures on Facebook because they look “fat” or post statuses about how they’re such pigs for enjoying life and eating a cupcake.
A cupcake doesn’t make you a pig! A dozen cupcakes will, but life is all about balance. Beating yourself up over your appearance or every calorie you eat or every workout you do is not balanced. It doesn’t lead to a happier you. It leads to a frustrated and unsatisfied you.
That’s why I’m glad I’m dong the Jump Start Diet because it truly is all about balance. It allots for 1600 calories a day, which is actually satisfyingly reasonable, and lets you eat real food. The special combinations of foods in some of the recipes are even meant to balance your hormones and lower your insulin levels, making for mega fat blasting.
But nowhere in the diet does it say to obsess over what you’re not already. Today I even got a great tip from SELF.com emailed to me about how you need to set periodic goals. Maybe you want to lose 15 lbs or more in 10 weeks like me. But set a goal for yourself when you get a quarter of the way there to keep you encouraged.
Be nice to yourself! Yourself is pretty great if you would only give you a chance. After all if you’re not happy during this, then why do it at all? Promise that you’ll love yourself, and I promise you’ll love every step toward getting the new happier, healthier you.
If you’re ever feeling discouraged, shoot me an email at NikkiRoberti@HerCampus.com or tweet me anytime @Nikki_Roberti. And let me know if you sign up for SELF’s Jump Start Diet so we can do it together! You don’t have be alone on this one.