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Sometimes it seems that people confuse being skinny for being healthy and being skinny for being beautiful. But beauty is something indefinable that you only know when you see it.
I’ve been visiting my childhood home this week, and it seems like my old room has been frozen in time. Pictures of old friends are tucked in the corners of my dresser mirror along with notes people have passed me in class.
One picture in particular though has always stood out to me, and I never understood why. It’s a picture of me when I was 13 years old (almost 14) about to go to junior prom with an older boy from my church. His date had fallen through and with one week til prom, his mom told him to ask me since she knew I was a nice church girl. Later we ended up dating for a long time until I dumped him in college.
 There were a lot of pictures taken that night, but for some reason, 13-year-old me only put this one on display on my dresser. I remember thinking about how it was the one picture where I completely felt beautiful, and I wanted to keep it there as a reminder.
But now, nearly 8 years later I still remember what reason I have the picture there for, but I don’t remember
why I chose that picture. So it got me to thinking…what was in this picture that made me feel like I was beautiful in this moment? Why not a picture with my prom date? Why not a picture at the actual dance? Why this picture, in my living room, before my date arrived?
I decided to really figure it out this time around. I mean, my junior high years were my most insecure years of my life. I thought I was fat. I went to a private school with awful uniforms that made even the skinniest girls looked fat in. I had horrible acne and some girls put glue in my hair during class. I wasn’t Miss Confident at age 13.
So for me to think that there was not one thing wrong with this picture at a time when I thought everything was wrong with me, there had to be something to this photo. But all I could figure was that I was just truly happy in this picture. It was my first dance since a dorky elementary school one and I remember being the most excited I had ever been in my life.Â
So was that it? Was being happy all that I needed to be beautiful? I think 13-year-old me was on to something.
We spend so much time noticing what’s wrong with us that we don’t let go and allow ourselves to be genuinely happy sometimes. Know what makes me happy? Finally taking control of my life and working on my health rather than eating myself into oblivion.
The daily emails I get from SELF.com with the Jump Start Diet continue to remind me not to beat up on myself, especially when the going gets tough. Every healthy choice is a step in the right direction. But good morale is the key to keeping with any type of life changing plan. Not only does being happy make you beautiful, but it can make you feel empowered too.
When’s the last time you completely felt beautiful? If you’re still caught up on how you look, then instead of being miserable, let’s doing something about it—the healthy way. Sign up for SELF’s Jump Start Diet, and together we can finally treat ourselves the way we deserve to be treated—Beautifully.
Email me at NikkiRoberti@HerCampus.com or Tweet me anytime @Nikki_Roberti.