Bestie, I am not doing well. And it’s not because I’m recovering from a gnarly case of the frat flu, or because Antoni and JVN from Queer Eye tricked me into thinking they were dating — it’s because of Mercury Retrograde. Let me tell you, this time around, she is not for the faint of heart.
Mercury Retrograde is notorious for wreaking havoc in our personal lives. Whether it’s a toxic ex clawing their way back into our lives or obstacles popping up at work, it seems like nobody is spared from the fall 2022 retrograde’s power. However, this transit isn’t the end of the world, and you can 100% get through it — with a little help, of course.
Let’s show the stars who’s boss: here are five Mercury Retrograde survival essentials you can shop today.
1. It’s Just Mercury in Retrograde Journal
During a Mercury Retrograde, you’re bound to have a lot of feelings — intense ones, at that. What better way to hash out these emotions than in a specialized journal catered to all things retrograde? It’s Just Mercury In Retrograde is a journal full of encouraging prompts, celestial illustrations, and tips for getting through (yet another) retrograde.
The journal entries in this book are designed to bring you a sense of mindfulness and calm during this chaotic transit. Perfect for astrology novices and star experts alike, this journal is a definite necessity for those moments when the universe is a little hard to handle.
Chronicle Books, $15
2. Horoscope · Pleasure Ritual
Babe, you’re stressed. I get it. And while a warm bath and a cocktail (or mocktail, up to you!) can work wonders, their benefits fade away as soon as you dry off — or receive a text from an ex. If only there were a way to escape that also has some serious wellness benefits!
Luckily for you, there is. Self-pleasure (masturbation, woop!) has been believed to relieve stress and even improve mental clarity, especially after achieving the “big O.” Bijoux Indiscrets is a female-founded company that creates and promotes products for your sexual well-being. The Horoscope Pleasure Ritual kit is designed to reconnect you with your feminine energy through pleasure. Complete with a gemstone based on your zodiac sign), a powerful finger vibrator, and a warming clitoral balm (life-changing, trust me), this kit has all the cosmic power to get you through this retrograde.
Bijoux Indiscrets, $40
3. Tarot Candle Trio
I don’t know about you, but retrograde has a tendency to make me question everything. And whenever I feel this way, I love to connect with my spiritual side to get some guidance. Oh, and I guess lighting a yummy-smelling candle never hurts, too.
Birthdate Co. is a company that creates personalized, astrologically-inspired gifts. Their Tarot Candle Trio is perfect for a great-smelling, at-home tarot reading. As these candles melt (past, present, and future), they will reveal a gold pendant corresponding to a particular tarot card. Complete with a tarot guidebook, this candle trio is a fun and unique way to get some clarity during the retrograde season.
Birthdate Co., $115
4. Mercury Retrograde Protection Bracelet
During retrograde season, we need all the protection we can get. Wearing a bracelet made with authentic, ethically-sources crystals might just do the trick, especially if it’s reiki-infused. Angelic Roots, a female-founded company, creates and sells healing and protective (and cute) jewelry for all aspects of life — including Mercury Retrograde.
Their Mercury Retrograde bracelet is reiki-infused, meaning that it has all of that healing energy you’ve been seeking during this transit. Comprised of Chrysocolla, Shungite, Fluorite, Onyx, and Tourmaline in Quartz crystals, this bracelet offers you protection from the darker energy of retrograde — and maybe even that toxic work environment as well.
Angelic Roots, $28
5. CLARITY BATH BAG
I said in the beginning that a hot bath can work wonders. But just imagine how much better it could be with a bit of help from spirituality. Whether it’s herbs, oils, or special water, infusing your bath with protective elements can bring you even more peace during this cosmic chaos.
House Of Intuition, a spiritual shop based in Los Angeles, has protective baths down to a science (spiritually, that is). While they have tons of different bath kits, their Clarity Bath Bag is full of herbs and oils that provide mental clarity and stress relief, thanks to powerful aromatherapy. So, after journaling, self-pleasuring, and taking off your new spiritual jewelry, light a candle (or three) and run a bath with this herbal kit. You deserve it.
